This would be an entirely different story if the five guys in question were the five guys of Five Guys, which is where my mind went first because hamburgers. But we don’t have names. All Cosmopolitan was able to get out of Mariah for their August issue is a number, and Mariah’s declaration that she’s a “prude” when it comes to sex.
If you’re a middle-aged Christian mom who needs a little heat in the bedroom, you might have studied Michelle Duggar’s sex tips from a few years back. But if you’re a millennial Christian mom who needs a little help setting fire to your flannelette sheets, you might take a tip from her daughter, Jill Duggar Dillard. Much like her mom’s tips, these aren’t G-rated Sunday-safe tips like: “Set your lover’s libido ablaze with a hot Tater Tot Casserole pulled straight from the oven.” Jill wants you to keep your marriage hot by having sex as much as possible. Are you surprised? Look at her husband Derrick Dillard – how could you not keep your praying hands off a stud like that?
Megan Fox was on Watch What Happens Live last night, and Andy Cohen put her up to a game of Plead the Fifth. Megan didn’t plead the fifth once, because clearly Megan is an open book with no secrets. Andy’s second question to Megan was about a 2011 Details magazine interview Shia LaBeouf gave, in which he pretty heavily implied that he and his Transformers co-star Megan might have been rocking trailers on set.
That’s either the look of unconditional love and patience, or two people who could power a small town on the energy from their pent-up horniness. In Michelle Williams’ case, it could very well be both.
All we’ve ever needed to know about what possibly happens behind John Mayer’s closed bedroom door can be found on his face during a particularly intense guitar riff. And yet, he’s still more than happy to spill the details of his sex life for anyone who dares ask. We know he used to jerk off all the time, that he would have sold all his stuff to keep fucking Jessica “Sexual Napalm” Simpson, and who could forget the David Duke dick thing. And now we know more! Prepare yourselves accordingly.
When I was little, I lived in the country and spent a lot of time wandering around outside flipping over rocks to find snakes and bugs and other fun things. That was the golden era before cellphones when kids had to entertain themselves without the aid of an electronic device, Goddammit! Well, I wish I could un-flip the rock that unearthed this tidbit of gossip, because when I woke up this morning I was blissfully unaware that Adrienne Bailon-Houghton, the only Cheetah Girl I can name who isn’t Raven-Symone, and my favorite Kartrashian ex, loves to suck on her man’s toes.