Reeting Iz HaRd 2 Du: The Kendall Jenner Edition

May 19, 2014 / Posted by:

Pimp Mama Kris‘ homeskool kurrikulum for her future moneymakers Kendull and that other one includes 30 minutes of math (read: studying the net worth of all NBA players, NFL players and rappers), 20 minutes of science (read: a hot Botox injection to the face and pits, because sweating is gross and only fats do it), 30 minutes of P.E. (read: learning her angles for her fame whore final aka a sex tape), 25 minutes of photography (read: taking selfies in the bathroom), 20 minutes of history (read: studying Kim Kardashian’s selfies and sex tape) and 3 hours of home ec (read: shopping). So because Kendumb Jenner’s homeskool schedule is more jam-packed than Kim’s kooch in the Staples locker room after a Lakers game, she doesn’t have time to learn stupid stuff like reading and writing. Reading and writing is for poor uglies! That’s why during the Billboard Music Awards last night, Kendumb had no idea what that shit on the screen in front of her was. While presenting the band of Australian twinks in Topman clothes known as (or “not known as” since I have no idea who the hell they are) 5 Seconds of Summer, Kendall spit out a tossed word salad and admitted that she no kunt reed 2 gud:

“They made their debut on the Billboard 200 number 2 this summah and now welcome One…. Guys, I’m the worst reader. They’re only getting bigger! Take a look!”

The Billboard producers are to blame for this, because they were wrong by expecting a Kardashian to know how to read words. They should’ve spelled it out with emojis. Kendall blamed it on her kontacts:


I was going to say that she also left her brain at home, but she doesn’t have one of those anymore. Pimp Mama Kris had it lipoed out of her head years ago, because PMK felt it made her head look fat.


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