Anyone fortunate enough to be intoxicated in the wee hours of the morning below the Mason-Dixon line understands how important Waffle House is. And for all of you Yankees not in the know, think of Waffle House as IHOP, but cheaper, quicker, and featuring waffles as the Beyonce of their menu. So you can imagine this life-saving beacon filled with Hangover Helper delights wants to ensure its menu does not succumb to this new generation of entitlement. And in that respect, Waffle House wants everyone who believes they are doing their brand a favor by creating options that are NOT on the menu to stop it immediately because they refuse to re-create any greedy menu hacks posted on TikTok today, tomorrow or ever.
A recent TikTok post features a user fondling a monstrosity of cold waffles before folding back the lips to reveal delicious meat and cheese on the inside. Complete with a side order of pickles, she attempts to form coherent sentences to tease others who have never witnessed such beauty at their local Waffle House, and with good reason. Because it only exists when you purchase a bunch of random items and re-create this drunken 3 o’clock in the morning bedtime snack on your own.
Her video caused many to believe they, too, could regale in such tepid luxury. However, as a member of the service industry, let me reassure you NOBODY is remaking this for you. But please, don’t take my word for it. The Takeout reports Waffle House is aware of these ridiculous hacks, and they’re ready to inform everyone if you would like to enjoy the same Waffle Burger that Sloshed Sally did have at it! But be prepared to pay extra for each item separately and then construct that shit on your own time because they ain’t doing it.
Internet users everywhere are devising and sharing very annoying ways to make minimum-wage-earning fast food workers perform even more labor so that the customercan either save a couple bucks on the sly or taste a custom off-menu creation. And while these hacks might seem harmless, they can have very real consequences.
Ironically, it was on TikTok that a sign at an Atlanta-area Waffle House first went viral. The handwritten plea reads: “ORDER FROM THE MENU WE ARE NOT MAKING ANYTHING YOU SAW ON TIKTOK!!”
Similar situations have occurred at other eateries of inebriation, such as Chick-fil-A and McDonald’s, but generally, the feeling is mutual across the board. Nobody is getting paid enough to turn your half-star hamburger into a Michelin-star meal, and even if they were, they still wouldn’t do it. So the next time you go to Waffle House, make sure you order what’s on the menu quickly before the booze inside your brain asks, “You think we can get a cheesesteak with fried onions on a waffle?” Let me save you some embarrassment; No. You absolutely can not.
Pic: Wikimedia Commons