Shakira Announces That She’s Moving From Barcelona to Miami After Reportedly Being “Evicted” By Her Ex’s Dad
Last year, it was reported that Shakira was planning to move from Barcelona to Miami since she only really lived in Barcelona for the father of her two children, Gerard Pique, who plays football there. So now that her relationship with Gerard has exploded thanks to his wandering peen ways, she’s taking her and her kids to Miami to live full-time. It’s kinda like a reverse Eat Pray Love, to live out her new life as a single mother with her close friends and family after her messy split from Gerard Pique. And who knows if she’ll take her Balcony Witch with her or not. Probably not, since it’s rumored that Gerard Pique’s dad helped with Shakira’s decision to leave Barcelona by evicting her ass from the home she shared with her ex.
Shakira Did A Candid Interview About Her Split From Gerard Pique, And Said “There Is A Place In Hell” For Women Who Don’t Support Other Women
Shakira has had a rough couple of years; the Spanish government charged her with tax fraud, she got attacked by wild boars, and her relationship with Gerard Pique ended after he cheated with 23-year-old Clara Chia. Since the split, 46-year-old Shakira’s been pretty open about her anger towards 36-year-old Gerard. See: her diss track and the balcony witch she faced towards her soon-to-be former mother-in-law’s house. Now, Shakira’s condemning the other woman to infierno! The Independent reports that, during a candid interview on the Mexican program, En Punto con Enrique Acevedo, Shakira said, “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women.” Well, at least Clara Chia will have some company while she’s burning up down there: Amy Poehler and Tina Fey!
Retired 35-year-old footballer, Gerard Piqué, has been publicly dating his one-time side piece, 23-year-old PR-type Clara Chia, since a few weeks after he and 47-year-old Shakira broke up. They announced their breakup in June 2022 after having been together 12 years, and then in August, Gerard was seen making out with Clara at a concert in Spain. And a few weeks after that, Clara went with him to a wedding in Catalonia. Well, now he’s taking her to Instagram, as the couple has gone social media official, and the comments section is open!–albeit mostly in Spanish.
I’m just going to assume someone else has already made a The Jam Don’t Lie joke instead, as I report that Shakira supposedly found out that her partner was cheating on her after noticing someone had been dipping into her strawberry jam while she was away. And he don’t eat jam. Detective La Toya better start using that XXL magnifying glass to examine the Help Wanted section because Shakira has stolen her gig. Not only that, Hercule Perot, Miss Marple, Benoit Blanc, Sherlock Holmes, Jessica Fletcher, Bunk & McNutty, Martha Stewart, and Bonne Maman were all found dead with a crinkled-up note on their chests with the words “The Jam Don’t Lie” written in lipstick, signed “Detective Shakira.”
Shakira Placed A Witch On Her Balcony Facing The Home Of Gerard Pique’s Mother And He Responded To Her Diss Track
Shakira has faced some difficulties over the last year or so. The Spanish government is after her money, and she split from her partner of 12 years, footballer Gerard Pique. She’s been fairly quiet throughout the process (well aside from telling the Spanish tax man to fuck off) until now. The songstress has yodeled her angriest yodel in a diss track against Pique, and she even shaded his mother with a bruja on the balcony. It’s time for the return of dark-haired, rocker Shakira!
A lot of people who’ve had a year like Shakira has might be locked in their room in a cocoon of sadness on day fifty-leven of unwashed hair with no recollection of when their last dalliance with the sunlight was. But Shakira–fresh out of her relationship with longtime partner and father of her two children, Gerard Piqué, and on the edge of a fight with the Spanish government over taxes she allegedly owes–instead opted to rally (I’m sure a Xena Warrior Princess-style yodel happened somewhere) and (kind of) answer tough questions in an interview for the October digital issue of ELLE.