Former Jackass (and current asshole), Bam Margera, is having a banner (bammer?) 2023 when it comes to people being done with his constantly regenerating booger-scab antics. First, Steve-O said he’s bracing himself for Bam’s impending death after Bam drunkenly blew the opportunities he gave him to get back to work. Earlier this week, Priscilla Presley said she was already over Bam’s ass before even knowing him because of his (characteristic) misbehavior and lies. And now, according to TMZ, his wife, Nicole Boyd finally decided to file for legal separation.

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The newest teaser for Disney’s live-action The Little Mermaid movie features an extra dark shot of Melissa McCarthy’s eyes in Urusula drag. Screen brightness buttons are working overtime today because I had to hit mine a dozen times to be able to see Melissa. Maybe Disney is like us and wants to forget that they made the boring choice of casting Melissa McCarthy as Ursula. And others are complaining about how dull the colors in the trailer are and how it looks like Halle Bailey’s Ariel is swimming in a sink full of dingy dishwater. Well, I’m guessing Mickey Mouse is using the live-action Little Mermaid movie to give his commentary on ocean pollution – The A.V. Club

Vanity Fair’s annual Hollywood Issue is out, and I would be spending time wondering, “What is Selena Gomez doing on there?“, but I’m too busy focused on Ana de Armas doing The Most as usual – Lainey Gossip

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Rihanna, A$AP Rocky, and their wildly adorably baby boy, whose name we still don’t know, cover the March issue of British Vogue. The interview was conducted five weeks before her performance at the Super Bowl, and she talked about her halftime show plans, life as a new mom, and her long-awaited ninth album, which she claims will likely be out this year. I want to believe her; I really do. But I’m scared that this is a trick, and “Album” will actually be the name of a new Fenty highlighter. Fool me once…

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Now that the ink has dried on Tom Brady‘s separation agreement with his former lover football, he’s found new ways of remaining relevant. After his dreadful short-lived career as a lingerie model crashed and burned, he’s using his words to make a fool out of himself instead. Especially after saying that “nipplegate,” Janet Jackson‘s infamous wardrobe malfunction at the hands of former Disney dancing dork Justin Timberlake, was actually “a good thing for the NFL.“. And all of the people with common sense are letting him know that’s one of the dumbest things they’ve ever heard ANYONE say.

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During Sunday’s Super Bowl, Elon Musk tweeted, “Go @Eagles!!!” with a bunch of American flag emojis. A couple of hours later, he deleted it. Was Elon embarrassed the Philadelphia Eagles lost? Nope. He was embarrassed that his tweet only got 9.1 impressions (views), while Joe Biden’s pro-Eagles tweet got 29 million. That night, a pissed-off Elon flew his private jet back to the Bay Area to “demand answers” from Twitter employees. According to Platformer, Elon threatened to fire his remaining engineers unless they built a system to promote his tweets. On Monday afternoon, when people who hadn’t blocked Elon Musk (fools!) opened Twitter, their timelines were filled with Elon posts. To quote the original Buzz Lightyear, “You are a sad, strange little man.”

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