Tom Brady Posted A “Cryptic” Valentine’s Day Message And Says He’ll Lay Off On Posting Thirst Traps On Social Media
Since he’s no longer in the NFL, we can’t really keep telling Tom Brady to shut up and play ball. After rubbing elbows with The Four Horsewomen of the GuyFieripocalypse in 80 for Brady, he’s too powerful now. All we can do is helplessly sit back and watch as his post-post-retirement post-divorce life plays out on the big Jumbo-tron in the sky we call the internet, and pray for a blackout.
Last week, the divorced father of three was accused of posting a “thirst trap” on Twitter which thankfully just turned out to be a sloppily executed marketing stunt for Tom’s new line of boy panties. According to People, Tom says he wouldn’t have done that if he was still in the NFL because he knows he’d have gotten shit for it in the locker room the next day. Here’s an example of what Tom is capable of after having experienced the high of sniffing Jane Fonda’s towering BumpIt.
You knew the plug was coming: https://t.co/L2N0nnIhRZ
— Tom Brady (@TomBrady) February 6, 2023
I’m wildly uncomfortable with the use of the term “plug” in this context but that’s an issue for another day. Here’s what Tom had to say about WHY THO?
Speaking about his recent viral photo of him posing in bed in nothing but his Brady brand underwear, the seven-time Super Bowl Champion, 45, said that people won’t be seeing too many of “those” kinds of snaps on his social media in the future.
“[The underwear] are actually amazing. I’m wearing ’em right now and I promise not to share too many more of those photos,” Brady said, on the most recent episode of his SiriusXM podcast Let’s Go!,” Tom Brady, Larry Fitzgerald and Jim Gray, adding that he had no idea what a “thirst trap” was when the picture first came out.
“That’s, I think, millennial verbiage. I actually even had to look that up so I didn’t even quite know what that meant, but just thought it was a good picture with some underwear. Nothing more than that actually,” he said.
The former Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback posted the photo last week as part of a bet with his Brady Brand clothing line, which reminded him that he said back in June 2022 that he would recreate some of their underwear models’ photos if his tweet got 40,000 likes.
Well, it only has 26K likes right now, so that’s absolutely the end of that. Good old No Take-Backs Tom is nothing if not a man of his word. And I suppose we can apply the same gridiron logic to his divorce from Gisele Bündchen. While he’s sworn off thirst traps for the time being, with no wife in place acting as a guard rail, Tom was free to celebrate his first Valentine’s Day as a divorced father of three by posting a “cryptic quote about love” in his Instagram stories. No, that wasn’t an earthquake. That was the thundering hoofbeats of Jane, Lily, Rita, and Sally’s mounts as they galloped off into the sunset yelling, “Peace out, suckers! He’s freeeeeee…..” Page Six reports:
Tom Brady posted a cryptic quote about love on his first Valentine’s Day since finalizing his divorce from ex-wife Gisele Bündchen.
“Love is not a transaction; it is a certain exuberance and sweetness of your emotion,” read a quote by Sadhguru, a popular yogi and mystic, which was shared via the NFL star’s Instagram Stories on Tuesday.
The former Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback, 45, followed up the post with a series of sweet photos of his children. Brady shares two kids — Benjamin, 13, and Vivian, 10 — with Bündchen, and 15-year-old John Edward with ex Bridget Moynahan.
I can’t believe Lily Tomlin didn’t even stick around long enough to explain that Sadhguru isn’t just a cheesy spiritual meme account but is an actual cheesy spiritual meme person. Curse you, Lily, I had to look it up myself! Meanwhile, Gisele marked the holiday by sharing a loving post dedicated to her other adult children.
These two will never let her down by asking to be let out to go potty, then not going potty, only to ask to go potty again ten minutes later. Now, that’s what I call love.
Pic: BauerGriffin/INSTARimages