Meghan Markle’s Spotify podcast, Archetypes, consistently charted high and won several awards, even though I don’t know anyone in real life who tuned in, even ironically. But it seemed like a perfect fit for her since she could collect her flowers and do her women’s activism thing by taking on honorable causes like giving Paris Hilton a platform to clarify that her whole dumb baby-voiced bimbo schtick was just a decades-long ruse on us dumb-dumbs. However, Archewell Audio (consisting of Prince Harry and Meghan) and Spotify just announced that their $20 million partnership has ended. But reportedly, the Duke and Duchess haven’t produced enough content to receive the full payout.

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Since the release of his new book about parenthood, The Daddy Diaries: The Year I Grew Up, Andy Cohen’s been making his rounds promoting the autobiography in the press, and his most recent stop was SiriusXM’s The Howard Stern Show on Wednesday, where Howard Stern got candid about Andy’s not so little penchant for name dropping celebs, especially affably charming heartthrob John Mayer (who could blame him), who was mentioned so many times he should get residuals! Howard/s take? The pair’s relationship is riding the fence between romance and bromance! And to his credit, he may be right- cause, according to Andy, he’s “in love” with John Mayer.

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Just a minute ago, we all learned that Al Pacino’s 83-year-old fetus-making parts still got it, and he hoo-ah’d a baby up into the womb of his 29-year-old girlfriend, Noor Alfallah. Well, Al Pacino’s fourth baby is here. His rep confirmed that Noor gave birth to a son they named Roman Pacino. I guess someone still isn’t over Succession ending. But seriously, when Noor’s friends defended her against the accusations that she’s a grandpa-preying gold digger, they said that she just likes old people. I hope she likes babies too. But then again, babies are kind of like old people, and I’m sure that Ole’ Al is happy too since now he’s got someone to blame his pepaw farts on – HuffPo

To further prove what a STUNT QUEEN master he is while promoting Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part 1, Tommy Cruise burped up a clip from the movie where he drives a car with one hand through the streets of London during a chase. Surprisingly, Tommy isn’t using the other hand to jack himself off since doing his own stunts makes him that horny. Tommy’s other paw was hand-cuffed to his co-star Hayley Atwell  – Lainey Gossip

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While wellness overlord Gwyneth Paltrow is hellbent on subjecting her body and mind to everything under the wellness umbrella, i.e., living off bone broth, ozone therapy up the ass, coochie candles, and vaginal steaming, Rosamund Pike doesn’t buy into any of that shit. Rosamund did an interview with The Guardian to promote her 10-part BBC audio drama, People Who Knew Me, which happened to lodge a few jokes into the script about Gwyneth’s wellness brand, Goop. Rosamund slammed the trending fad of “wellness,” asserting, “We’re all being conned by the wellness industry.”

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Twenty years ago, Mary-Louise Parker, Billy Crudup, and Claire Danes were involved in a très public Scandoval; Billy (then 35) left a pregnant Mary-Louise (39) for Claire (24), his co-star in that movie Stage Beauty. The cheaters split in 2006, and last Friday, Billy married Naomi Watts at a Manhattan courthouse. I liked her dress. Anywho, this week, Mary-Louise did an interview with The Guardian and chatted about audiobooks, a potential Weeds reboot, and Botox. As things were winding down, the interviewer asked Mary-Louise for her thoughts on Billy and Naomi’s recent nuptials. Mary-Louise seemed “stunned to be asked about this,” and she quickly responded that she wished them both well. Then, ML’s publicist ended the Zoom interview: “That’s ten minutes!” Bringing up someone’s cheating ex: a fantastic way to kill a conversation.

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