Florida Governor Ron DeSantis Signed A Bill Punishing Disney For Opposing His So-Called “Don’t Say Gay” Agenda
Mickey Mouse better finds himself a little dick real quick because, as Florida governor Ron DeSantis announced yesterday, “there’s a new sheriff in town,” and given what we know about Ron’s particular preoccupations, genital checks are not off the table. According to CNN, old Ronnie pecker-checker gave what amounted to a stump speech (he wishes, probably more like a snapped-off twig nubbin) while signing a bill into law that would give the state of Florida control over the Reedy Creek Improvement District, which had previously been under Disney’s control “for more than half a century.” To give you an idea of just how long that is, Disney had dominion over the area since the days when they produced original IP!
Keke Palmer Has Given Birth To A Baby Boy And The Reviews About His Name Are Mixed
We are all officially old as hell because Keke Palmer, who I still think of as the spelling champ cutie from Akeelah and the Bee, is not only turning thirty this year, she also gave birth to her first child over the weekend. Please pass me the Metamucil and vodka so I can toast to this happy occasion. And of course, there were a few who were disappointed about Keke and her man Darius Jackson‘s decision to name their newborn son Leodis Andrellton Jackson. But hit back.
Shawn Mendes Took A Walk With Sabrina Carpenter So You Know What That Means… Dating Rumors!
Bad news for the 51-year-old chiropractor who was rumored to be dating 24-year-old Shawn Mendes for months because he’s just hit the pap stroll with a more famous person. It looks like he may be getting with 23-year-old popstar Sabrina Carpenter as the two have taken the first step in a famous people relationship: strolling the streets where people can see them. HOT AND HEAVY!
Farrah Abraham Defended Letting Her 14-Year-Old Daughter Get Six Facial Piercings
Between all of her security guard slapping, overdone cosmetic procedures, hotel employee slapping, and feuds, it’s easy to forget that Farrah Abraham is also someone’s mom–despite her obnoxiously existing because of her appearing on the shows 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom. But she’s been a mom for 14 years now, and she took her daughter, Sophia Abraham, to get six facial piercings to commemorate the anniversary of her exit from Farrah’s (less popular) front door. Some people had thoughts about a minor getting facial piercings, so of course, Farrah took the opportunity to scrounge up a few crumbs of attention by defending her decision to allow Sophia to get pierced.
The Loyal Twitter Employee Who Was Seen Sleeping On The Floor Last Year Has Been Fired
Do you remember last year when we found out Elon Musk turned the main offices at Twitter into the worse bed and breakfast in San Francisco? There was even a lovely selection of brochure photos showing the living quarters and a glowing review from one of his most diligent workers, Esther Crawford. As she lay snugly nestled inside a sleeping bag on the floor, shielding her eyes from the embarrassment of being that stupid, she wanted everyone to rest assured, knowing she was doing whatever it took for the betterment of the team. Well, Esther, the team thanks you. And what better way to show gratitude than by giving you your walking papers because in the words of another pasty, pale-faced man baby named Donald Trump, “You’re fired“.
Hot Slut Of The Day!
Little Red Riding Hood from a 1984 commercial for Sugar Free Dr. Pepper!
Companies using fairy tales as a capitalist tool to sell their shit is nothing new. Although, I’m sure that the ghosts of The Brothers Grimm beam with immense pride every time their character is used in an ad, like the time Snow White was used to push a 1-900 chat line for kids! But one fairy tale-themed commercial that seemed to live in my brain for eons and played throughout the 1980s was one from Sugar Free Dr. Pepper. It starred a Little Red Riding Hood who wasn’t your grandma’s Little Red Riding Hood… unless your grandma grew up in the 1980s, and then your ass just called me old.