Florida Governor Ron DeSantis Signed A Bill Punishing Disney For Opposing His So-Called “Don’t Say Gay” Agenda

Mickey Mouse better finds himself a little dick real quick because, as Florida governor Ron DeSantis announced yesterday, “there’s a new sheriff in town,” and given what we know about Ron’s particular preoccupations, genital checks are not off the table. According to CNN, old Ronnie pecker-checker gave what amounted to a stump speech (he wishes, probably more like a snapped-off twig nubbin) while signing a bill into law that would give the state of Florida control over the Reedy Creek Improvement District, which had previously been under Disney’s control “for more than half a century.” To give you an idea of just how long that is, Disney had dominion over the area since the days when they produced original IP!

Sounding like a straight-up cartoon villain, The Governor of the Show Me (Your Tits) state, made good on his threats and signed a bill into law whose sole purpose is to punish Disney for barely speaking up above a whisper against his so-called “don’t say gay bill.” CNN reports:

Appearing at the doorstep of Walt Disney World, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis signed a bill Monday that gives him new power over Disney, effectively punishing the entertainment giant for speaking out against the Republican’s political agenda.

The new law amounts to a state takeover of the Reedy Creek Improvement District, the government body that has given Disney unique powers in Central Florida for more than half a century. It allows the governor to replace the district’s existing board – mostly people with ties to Disney – with a five-member body that he hand-picks.

Wow. Where does one even find a body with five members? Florida truly is wild! You can pay a surgeon to give you five dicks, but your kid isn’t allowed to read Julián Is a Mermaid? Man, looks like Disney butched-up Luca for nothing. Ron’s still trying to hand-pick their asses.

“Today, the corporate kingdom finally comes to an end,” DeSantis said Monday at a Reedy Creek fire station in Lake Buena Vista, Florida. “There’s a new sheriff in town and accountability will be the order of the day.”

DeSantis announced his appointments to the reconstructed board, including Martin Garcia, a Tampa lawyer and prolific Republican donor whose private investment firm contributed $50,000 to DeSantis’ reelection, and Bridget Ziegler, a Sarasota County School Board member who was a co-founder of the conservative organization Moms for Liberty and the wife of Christian Ziegler, the new chairman of the Republican Party of Florida.

The new board is scheduled to meet next week, DeSantis said, “so buckle up.”

Sounds like it’s guns at noon. Who is Disney going to send? Woody from Toy Story? CNN adds that the bill “renames Reedy Creek as the Central Florida Tourism Oversight District, restricts its use of eminent domain and removes never-used powers that could have allowed Disney to build its own airport or a nuclear plant.” Dammit! Without that nuclear plant, Disney is never going to be able to build their own genital mutant with twelve cocks, 36 vaginas, and 69 tits coming out the backside to take this bully on.

The saga with Disney has been central to the narrative around DeSantis’ ascent to the top of potential 2024 Republican presidential contenders, and a demonstration of the lengths the Republican has gone to push his “war on wokeness.” In taking on Disney, DeSantis stunned one of the state’s largest and most influential employers. With an army of lobbyists and millions in past campaign donations to Republican lawmakers, it often wielded much influence in Florida’s halls of legislative power.

At this point, Disney might be better off redirecting Ron’s revenge and sic him on Nicola Peltz Beckham for not inviting him to her wedding. At any rate; in case you’re on a diet but forgot and ate something this morning that you’d now like to purge, here’s old Ronnie “what size you got?” DeSantis lying about how Disney “came out against something that was really just about protecting young kids, and making sure that students are able to go to school learning to read, write, add, subtract, and not having a teacher tell them that they can change their gender.”

Pic: Mark Ashman/Hand-Out/startraksphoto.com