Shakira Is Considering Moving Miami To Leave Behind Her Tax And Relationship Woes In Spain

Beloved lycan and nemesis of boars everywhere Shakira has been having a difficult year. First, her footballer husband Gerard Pique suffered from a severe case of wandering peen which eventually led to the dissolution of their marriage. Then all that tax mierda Shakira’s been putting off finally caught up to her. What’s a girl to do? Move mansions, of course! There are rumors that Shakira is planning to get away from it all and relocate to the tiny modest town of Miami. Ah yes, who hasn’t considered moving to Miami to deal with a breakup (and those pesky tax collectors)!

Back in June, Gerard and Shakira officially announced that they were separating thanks to Gerard’s infidelity. He defended his cheatin’ ways by declaring he COULDN’T have cheated because theirs was an open relationship. He’s an innocent man by technicality. Whatever the case, Shakira and Gerard no longer live together and are currently in a custody battle over their two children Milan and Sasha. While Shakira can’t abide cheating on your significant other, she very much supports cheating the taxman! She supposedly owes $15 million on taxes and rather than go for a plea deal, Shakira yodeled, “I’ll see you in court!” to the Spanish authorities. If she loses, she faces up to 8 years in prison and a $24 million fine. All of this has put a strain on her, so Shakira is contemplating moving to the US and living out her American Dream (read: not pay her taxes). According to PageSix:

Sources told Page Six that Colombian superstar Shakira, 45, wants to hightail it out of Barcelona and live full-time in Miami — leaving behind the personal troubles that are haunting her.

Barcelona is proving to be a place of bad memories.

In Miami Beach, she has close family and friends to rally around her and provide much needed support. Plus, a very private and palatial, waterfront mansion. Family friend and Douglas Elliman realtor Ana Lourdes Martinez calls the town Shakira’s “refuge.”

“Miami is her home,” Martinez, who works with Shakira’s brother Antonio on the singer’s local real estate holdings, told The Post. “Her parents live here, her brother lives here, her niece and nephew, too. She doesn’t have any family in Spain. It’s a different environment from Barcelona.”

Some of Shakira’s friends are doing their best to convince her to make the big move. She supposedly never really fit into Gerard’s gang with his friends reportedly called her “La Patrona” (“The Boss”) behind her back. Family, friends who like you, and not one recorded boar incident in Miami? This could be a great move for Shakira. The US also loves tax evaders (if you’re over a certain income bracket), so that’s a bonus! She already owns a home in Miami and was seen with her sons in the city earlier this month. So if you think she’s headed over there to shake those famous truth-telling hips and find herself a new man, you’ll be sorely mistaken.

“Shakira is a very family-oriented person,” Martinez described. “She will not go to a party with a bunch of friends. No, they gather at her house for barbecues and family activities. It is a home built for entertaining. The kids enjoy being here and being with their abuelos.”

And since Shakira’s a legal, tax-paying resident of the Bahamas and NOT Barcelona, it’ll be a very easy to move her life to Miami. Being in the States also means that Shakira can do more joint tours with Jennifer Lopez! And we all know JLo would LOVE that.

Pic: INSTARImages