Madonna has promised to blow anybody like a water bottle if you vote for Hillary Clinton. Three things: 1. You’re not helping her, Madge. 2. Does she take her Grillz off? 3. Can I get the cash value instead? – Towleroad
Panty Creamer of the Day: Idris Elba’s bedroom voice – Lainey Gossip
Gigi Hadid admits what everyone has known since the first time her foot touched a catwalk – Celebitchy
Lady Gaga is giving you 99 Cent Store Silkwood cosplay – Drunken Stepfather
Why millions of nerd boners sprung up today: the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 trailer came out – The Superficial
It’s official: Hollywood hates Gene Wilder – Pajiba
Finally, some real high-brow entertainment: the trailer for season 3 of Ladies of London has been released – Reality Tea
Mila Kunis is still pregnant – Popoholic
In case you’ve never seen it, here’s the sweaty man ass of Lip Gallagher from Shameless – OMG Blog
Never mind Khlozilla’s wookie nips, methinks her face is starting to melt – The Nip Slip
Colin Firth is probably going to be in the Mary Poppins sequel – Popsugar
Elizabeth Hurley has still got it – Hollywood Tuna
Someone tell Ivanka Trump that if she really wants to see a “mulatto cock” all she has to do is type “mulatto cock” in PornHub. You would think that her dad would’ve already shown her that trick – Jezebel
James Franco either head-butted a dude in the stomach or was trying to blow him. You decide! – IDLYITW
Ciara and her new husband wasted no time and he may have already bareback boned a fetus into her – Just Jared
It’s been a month since Webster’s dictionary removed the word “love” forever since it doesn’t exist anymore now that Brangelina is broken. Since then, St. Angie Jolie’s super team of Pitt fighters and Brad Pitt’s team (Jacques Jolie-Pitt and LegalZoom) have been trying to work out a custody agreement that they both can deal with. The L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services recommended a temporary custody agreement, which they both agreed to. The child army has been living with Angie full-time for the past three weeks and Brad got to visit them a couple of times. That temporary agreement expires tomorrow, and People says that shit is still strained and they haven’t come up with a permanent custody agreement. I would say that they should settle it the highly professional way, with a Rock, Paper, Scissors battle, but that wouldn’t work since Brad would probably stop every 2 seconds to say, “How do I make rock again?”
While we’re waiting for the Beverly Hills Hotel’s security team to provide the receipts, let’s hear what more Azealia Banks has to add to her side of what went down in Russell Crowe’s hotel suite on Saturday night.
Azealia went off to The Sun and said at first, Russell was very sweet and flirty with her. She says he was smoking weed and drinking a cocktail of vodka, whisky, and moonshine and put his hand on her leg while calling her “beautiful. Then shit soured when Russell got up and another girl sat down. Azealia thinks it was his girlfriend. She claims the girlfriend informed her that Russell thought she was hot, to which Azealia replied, “I’m not here for that.” Azealia says Russell wasn’t so flirty after that.
And yes, I mean that in more ways than one.
Guy Pearce, his old Neighbours co-star Kylie Minogue, Julian McMahon and Radha Mitchell were all on the Gold Coast in Australia yesterday to shoot a hot beach scene for the movie Flammable Children. No word if Guy made it through the day without a seagull chasing him after mistaking that dick in his swim chonies for an obese weasel. You know, there’s no need to run your fingers over to IMDB to see what this movie is about. This movie can already have my money because it’s got:
- That Vegemite and man meat foot-long sub sandwich in Guy’s trunks. It’s most likely a stunt cock, but who cares!
- Guy Pearce looking like a Ken doll’s douche-y stepdad from the 70s.
- Kylie Minogue in an Ann Jillian wig of perfection.
- Julian McMahon in a floral Speedo.
- Everybody looking like the stars of a low-budget porn parody of Boogie Nights.
All of that combined equals the perfect movie! These pictures are my Spanish Fly.
Earlier this month, there were rumors of an old man feud on the set of Homeland between F. Murray Abraham and Mandy Patinkin. There must be something in the Ensure, because now here’s another story about two old legends fighting. But this one isn’t a rumor. Phil Collins has made it clear that he hates Paul McCartney.
And here’s some news that is sadness wrapped in awfulness and stuffed with more sadness. Playboy model and the “Queen of Snapchat,” Katie May, died at the age of 34 last February after suffering a stroke caused by a blocked artery. The Los Angeles County Coroner did an autopsy to figure out what exactly happened to her. Los Angeles Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter tells People that they have ruled that Katie’s death was caused by a chiropractor session gone horrifically wrong. During a “neck manipulation” by Katie’s chiropractor, her left vertebral artery was torn, which stopped blood flow to her brain.