Gwyneth Paltrow recently discovered yoni eggs, which are egg-shaped stones you shove up your snatch to allegedly help you keep things tight and tingly. Yesterday we learned that Gwyneth was selling a $66 jade egg on her website specifically to put up your vagina. Goop claimed that the jade egg would work in a number of magical ways, which included increases in chi, orgasms, vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy. She also did a Q&A with the maker of the eggs, Shiva Rose. GOOP’s jade egg has already sold out.
A gynecologist named Dr. Jen Gunter has chimed in with her thoughts. Dr. Jen wrote an open letter to Gwyneth, and surprisingly it wasn’t to congratulate Gwyneth on successfully finding a new way to waste people’s money.
And of course in that picture of Camila Alves is a stoned Matthew McConaughey wondering if the tinsel on that foil gold Christmas tree in front of him is smokeable.
At last night’s NYC premiere of Gold (that mining scandal movie where the Texas T-Rex looks like he’s doing low-budget cosplay of Christian Bale in American Hustle), Camila Alves took the title of the movie all the way by covering her body with 5 pounds of tinsel and hundreds of yards of gold fabric. Camila is brave for wearing that ensemble out in NYC, because that top part looks like a golden shower, so I’m surprise that Donald Trump didn’t try to bathe under it.
If Trump’s penthouse apartment and Liberace’s dining room had sloppy, dirty, messy fuck times, the wet spot they left would look like what Camila is wearing. She looks like a new money whore house madam. It’s gaudy! It’s tacky! It’s ugly! I love it!
During the past week or so, peens allegedly belonging to several cast members of MTV’s Teen Wolf have leaked all over that internet. Dick pics and/or videos supposedly of Cody Christian, Ryan Kelley and Tyler Posey have popped up on the internet. I know, dicks pics of Teen Wolf dudes are sprouting up left and right and none are of Tyler Hoechlin. The universe really knows how to tease a bitch. The universe is that PornHub video that cuts off 2 seconds before the money shot. Gregg Sulkin isn’t in Teen Wolf, but he was on another MTV show, Faking It, and he did date Tyler Posey’s ex Bella Thorne, and I guess that’s good enough to add him to The Fappening: Teen Wolf Edition. BUT WAIT!
About a month after Will, Grace, Jack, and Karen reunited in a video about the presidential election, NBC started talking about the possibility of bringing them all back for a one-off season consisting of 10 episodes. Entertainment Weekly reports today that NBC made it happen and a Will & Grace revival is coming.
Variety interviewed a bunch of Hollywood and media types about Donald Trump’s win and one of them was Chelsea Handler. Surprisingly, Chelsea didn’t say that crazy bitch Angelina Jolie is solely to blame for President-elect Trump becoming an actual thing. Instead of doing that, Chelsea directed everyone to point their blaming fingers at Calabasas, CA.
Don’t scoff at that; it takes hours and hours of practice to pose like an undefeated toddler pageant queen. Earlier this week, Ariana Grande Instagrammed a black and white picture of herself looking like American Girl doll that just discovered weed and Joy Rich. But unlike the last time she got a little attention for something she posted to Instagram, this time it wasn’t about the picture. It was the caption that went along with it.
That last hashtag: #haventsleptinyears. That might explain why it looks like she’s taking a quick standing-up snooze in the middle of the sidewalk. If I hadn’t slept in years, I’d wouldn’t be able to keep my eyes open for a picture either.