Category: Still?
Taylor Swift Performed “Dear John” For The First Time In 11 Years And Seemingly Told Her Fans Not To Start Trolling John Mayer Over It Again
Hopefully, John Mayer has access to some kind of underground bunker (under Andy Cohen’s low bar should be deep enough) in preparation for Taylor Swift’s Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) album release because Taylor just performed her song “Dear John” (that’s pretty obviously about him) for the first time in 11 years at one of her recent Eras Tour shows. Though she prefaced it by seemingly telling her fans to LEAVE JOHN ALONE, I’m pretty confident that before she even finished singing the song, at least one of her diehards probably DMed John a video of the performance and threatened to smack the stanky guitar face right off of him–despite fellow (but considered to be less nefarious in Taylor’s fandom) Speak Now muse, Taylor Lautner, also recently sending John his prayers for mercy leading up to the (legal) July 7 album re-release.
Gwen Stefani Still Won’t Marry Blake Shelton Until Her First Marriage Is Annulled
My teen self denounced Gwen Stefani as the +~*cOOleST gUuuurrrlL*~+ in the world when she got with the humanization of TruckNutz™ that is Blake Shelton in what I’m still telling myself is a long, long, long con to continue to promote The Voice. Gwen and Blake have been together for over four years, and there’s been wedding rumors ever since. But Gwen still hasn’t walked down an aisle of moose carcasses (hunted by Blake) while wearing a camo dress as he waits for her in a three-piece lumberjack plaid suit under an altar of rifle bullets. And once again, we’re hearing that Gwen and Blake haven’t gotten married because she’s really Catholic and won’t get married until her marriage to Gavin Rossdale is annulled by the church. Uh huh, “really Catholic“? If strict Catholic abuelitas, like my abuelita, ran the church, Gwen wouldn’t have to worry about getting her marriage annulled, because they’d kick out her grande mujerzuela ass for being a sinful hussy slut floozy who shacked up with a man she didn’t marry in the eyes of God!