Category: Super Bowl
Open Post: Hosted By Gwyneth Paltrow Eating Her Own Vagina Candle In A Super Bowl Commercial For Uber Eats
Super Bowl LVI is going down on February 13, and so brands are starting to release teasers for the commercials they are paying zillions for. Gotta get their money’s worth! Uber Eats’ Super Bowl commercial stars Jennifer Coolidge, Trevor Noah, and Gwyneth Paltrow. The “Uber Don’t Eats” campaign is meant to, I guess, tell people that you can order lots of stuff with Uber, but not all of it is edible? Like Gwyneth’s This Smells Like My Vagina candle, which she chows down on in the commercial. But Gwyneth using teeth on a vagina (candle) is bad form.
Open Post: Hosted By Mila Kunis And Demi Moore Starring In An AT&T Commercial Together
Demi Moore may be Ashton Kutcher‘s ex-wife, and Mila Kunis may be Ashton’s current wife, but that doesn’t mean that they hate each other and can’t get together for the sake of a beautiful check! They both star in AT&T’s newest Super Bowl spot which is beginning to air this week.
Janet Jackson Doesn’t Want Anything To Do With The New York Times Documentary About Her Super Bowl Halftime Show
Back in March, The New York Times, in association with Hulu and FX, dropped Framing Britney Spears, a documentary that looked to effectively re-write the narrative surrounding Britney Spears’ 13-year-long conservatorship. And yeah, mission accomplished. The next person The New York Times was hoping to reputationally rehab with a documentary is Janet Jackson, whose career seemingly took a sudden nosedive after her 2004 Super Bowl Halftime Show performance, in which one of her titties was exposed after Justin Timberlake yanked at her costume. Last week, The New York Times finally dropped Malfunction: The Dressing Down of Janet Jackson. I’m sure it’s not too much of a stretch to assume that Justin Timberlake wants nothing to do with Malfunction. But according to Miss Jackson’s former stylist, Janet doesn’t want to be involved with Malfunction either.
The New York Times Is Working On A Documentary About The 2004 Super Bowl Halftime Show
Since everyone has seen that 2004 Super Bowl Halftime Show image enough times to have seared itself into human memory forever, I thought I’d remind you what the rest of Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl Halftime Show performance looked like, and wow did I ever forget that the opening number was A Clockwork Dance Crew themed. The reason I probably forgot was because that whole Halftime Show was eclipsed by the surprise removal of Janet’s snap-on nipple cover by one grabby former ramen-haired boy bander, Justin Timberlake. Since that grab, and the subsequent exposed nipple, we’ve seen Justin’s career skyrocket while Janet appeared to experience a much quieter time, career-wise. And in later years, a whole lot of people have come to realize that Janet was done absolutely filthy. And so, much like they have previously done to help expose the truth about Britney Spears, The New York Times has decided to vindicate Miss Jackson’s professional reputation with a documentary all about the media’s role after that Halftime Show.
A Stylist Claims Justin Timberlake Set Up Janet Jackson At The Super Bowl To One-Up Britney Spears
I think many can agree that Janet Jackson was done dirty after Justin Timberlake closed out the 2004 Super Bowl Halftime Show by ripping off her detachable titty cover and exposing her right boob. A few months ago, Justin finally clued in and realized that he was arguably the villain during that Super Bowl moment, and publicly acknowledged that Janet deserved an apology. He never said what he was apologizing for, and if he was looking for a reason to issue a follow-up statement, well – maybe he can reference some recent comments made by Janet’s then-stylist. Because according to stylist Wayne Scot Lukas, Justin allegedly pushed for a “wardrobe malfunction” because he wanted to upstage all the attention and publicity Britney Spears got six months earlier for kissing Madonna at the MTV VMAs. Justin Timberlake? Being jealous of a woman’s attention and feeling the need to one-up her in the most obnoxious way? That definitely doesn’t sound like something Justin Timberlake would do.
Tom Brady Celebrated His Seventh Super Bowl Win By Getting Day Drunk And Tossing Around The Lombardi Trophy
Tom Brady left the New England Patriots to join the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for a cool $30 million a year. And this year, the Buccs won the Super Bowl with major help from Tom Brady. To celebrate his seventh Super Bowl win, Tom got absolutely lit during the day and tossed around the Vince Lombardi Trophy and stumbled around through the assistance of good friends. I’m glad he had such a good time. I’m also glad that coronavirus doesn’t exist in Florida, otherwise all this Super Bowl celebrating would lead to a lot of infections!