JUUUUUSTIN’S Wedding Picture!!!! (Oh Yeah, Jessica Biel Is Somewhere In There Too, I Guess)

October 24, 2012 / Posted by:

For those of you who are still grabbing onto 2000, here’s the closest you will ever get to seeing Justin Timberlake and Brit Brit’s faces under the word WEDDING on the cover of People Magazine. People is trolling and this is their gift to you.

So, this is what $300,000 bought People Magazine. They got a cover picture of Just Timberlake doing the LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT LOOOK AT MEEEEEE while his bride Jessica Biel sits there like, “Oh hey, don’t mind me, I’m just taking a quick piss on a potty training toilet.” Justin not only sucked up all the attention on the cover of People, but he also sucked up all the attention at their wedding. Justin tells People that as Jessica strolled down the aisle, he played the guitar and sang an original song he wrote for her. So their guests had the choice to either look at Justin Timberlake sing an original song or watch the epitome of boring walk down the aisle. What do you think they went with?

I bet when Justin was a kid, he was that attention whoring ring bearer who had to upstage the bride by acting the fool in the aisle. And now that Justin’s all grown up, he’s that attention whoring groom who is still upstaging the bride.

As for Jessica’s dress, she says her mound of pink fluff was a custom Giambattista Valli Haute Couture gown. That gown probably cost thousands upon thousand of dollars and took a dozen people several months to make, but I swear you can buy the exact same thing at a low-budget quinceanera dress store in the ghetto part of any mall.

With all that being said, this cover is a wreck on every level and I’m thankful to People for going with it.

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