When the 90s tween inside all of us shriveled up into a puddle of sadness after crying out a billion tears over the death of Luke Perry, celebrities who knew him and celebrities who didn’t know him (including Colin Hanks with his story of Luke saving a flight from wild brats!) shared their thoughts and condolences for him, but the one that I kept waiting to her from was his forever onscreen soulmate Shannen Doherty. I refreshed Shannen’s Twitter and Instagram pages so many times that after the one millionth refresh, I got a restraining order from her Twitter and Instagram pages in my inbox. The night before Luke went off to heaven to have a smolder-off with James Dean, Shannen was at a charity event and asked for payers before calling him “her Dylan.” Shannen has now spoken about the way-too-early loss of Luke Perry.
Everybody lower your glow stick at half-mast, because a rave legend has gone too soon. The Guardian says that Keith Flint, the lead singer of legendary English electro band Prodigy, was found dead at his home in Essex today. If that wasn’t already ten hundred tons of sad stuffed into ten hundred tons of more sad, one of Prodigy’s founders says that he died by suicide. He was only 49.
Well, there goes a little piece of little gay me who’d watch Who’s The Boss? while lying on the living room carpet and praying that I’d be like Mona Robinson when I got to be her age, which back then, I thought was probably 35, because 35 is ancient to kids. 2019 is the year when the world is becoming a less glamorous place. We’ve lost Carol Channing, Kunty Karl, and now we’ve lost glamour icon Katherine Helmond. Katherine was 89.
Lee Radziwell, socialite and younger sister of Jaqueline Kennedy Onassis, and the woman partly responsible for bringing the world Grey Gardens, passed away in New York on Friday from age-related causes. She was 85.
Not-knowing young tricks may know Albert Finney from the Bourne movies or Skyfall, and us 80s kids know him as Daddy Warbucks in the Annie movie, but he is a legendary British thespian whose career goes back decades upon decades, including 1963’s Tom Jones (not a biopic about renowned panty creamer Tom Jones) where he served some young hot Woody Harrelson sexiness. Albert Finney was nominated for an Oscar five times, but never won. Well, now he’s in heaven, winning all the Oscars (if he even cares about that shit, which I’m sure he doesn’t), because he has died at the age of 82.
A little under a year after Hayden Panettiere gave birth to the baby she made with the Jolly Ukrainian Giant (pro boxer Wladimir Klitschko) to her Little American Sprout, she publicly announced that she was suffering from the stage 10 post-birth sads known as postpartum depression and checked into a treatment center to get help. This was at the end of 2015. In August 2018, we all found out that one of my favorite couples had broken up, and she moved on to aspiring actor/real estate agent (which is the occupation of 98% of the population in Los Angeles) Brian Hickerson. Hayden and Brian debuted their everlasting love on the stroll when they were swarmed by paparazzi as she drunkenly danced barefoot in the parking lot of a restaurant.
A few months after that, Hayden’s friends started whispering to the tabloids about how they’re worried about her, especially when she was involved in some drunken hillbilly family wreck between Brian and his dad in South Carolina. Brian, who seems to have his hand firmly up Hayden’s culo like a ventriloquist dummy and is doing the talking for her, said at the time that her friends are not worried about her and everything is fine. Well, according to UsWeekly, everything isn’t so fine, because Hayden hasn’t had much time with her daughter.