TRUE LOVE IS DEAD! Sort of. When it comes to Joe Exotic, something usually dies. Whether it be that bitch Carol Baskin’s husband (so Joe claims), interest in the Tiger King and any of its spinoffs, or a prison romance. Last we heard of Joseph Maldonado-Passage, he was planning to marry his mysterious felonious fiancé, John Graham. After meeting behind bars, Joe wanted to make an honest man out of John and marry him. The main thing hindering his impending nuptials was his messy divorce from Dillon Passage. Well, it looks like Joe won’t be adding another hyphen to his name because the marriage is officially off!
Joe Exotic Is Engaged To A Former Fellow Inmate And Is Seeking A Divorce From His Husband Dillon Passage
I don’t think a single person on the planet is watching Joe vs Carol on Peacock, which premiered last month to a chorus of toothless crickets, but according to People, the man himself, 59-year-old Joseph Maldonado-Passage aka Joe Exotic, is in love, and plans to marry his fiancé, John Graham, just as soon as he gets a divorce from his current husband, 25-year-old Dillon Passage. Not much is known about Joe’s new love other than the two met in prison where Joe is currently serving a 22-year sentence for attempting to have his big cat rescue rival Carol Baskin murdered. I guess Joe can thank Cardi B for not following through on starting that GoFundMe to have him released from prison for his new lease on life. Cardi knows her way around the criminal justice system, maybe she can officiate!
Time to pour one out for an absolute legend. Jeremy Meeks’ watch has ended and it’s time to hold whatever the equivalent of a viking funeral is for the storied career of a Gold Digger nonpareil. According to Us Weekly, Jeremy and his TopShop ATM Chloe Green have officially split after two years, one baby (Jayden Meeks-Green), and one hundred trips around the globe on daddy’s yacht. For his achievements in the arts of The Come Up, Fortuitous Insemination, and the Commodification of What Your Momma Gave You, Jeremy has earned himself an entire wing in the Gold Diggers Hall Of Fame.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has made some new friends during his 8 month prison stint for tax evasion. Friends like Billy McFarland, who was sentenced to six years in prison for that fraudulent mess that was the Fyre Festival, and the dude who leaked Jennifer Lawrence’s nudes.
I guess if you’re going to make prison besties, you might as well make friends with the most famous douchebags in the place. Everyone knows non-famous prison douchebags are way less fun and probably better at Scrabble than you. So kudos to The Situation for choosing wisely!
I love a happy ending, don’t you? As Gold Diggers Hall Of Fame Presents: The Legend Of Prison Bae wraps up its first season, we can take time to reflect on fairy tale ending for The Felon, The Heiress and The Nurse. In last week’s episode, Jeremy Meeks and ex-wife Melissa Meeks finalized their divorce with Jeremy securing primary custody of the couple’s 9-year-old son Jeremy Jr. Melissa was offered a 6-figure payout for this arrangement and is now moving on with her life. In fact, she recently celebrated her freedom with a blow out divorce party held at Crazy Horse 3 in Las Vegas.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Gold Digging is an art. And few have finessed the skill such as Prison Bae, Mr. Jeremy Meeks. Not only has he found his cash cow in Topshop heiress (above) Chloe Green (the green means money), but he has locked it ALL the way down and now he’s closed the fucking loop by thoroughly ending it with his ex-wife who isn’t worth billions. And by thorough, I mean: she got paid to hand over their son and flutter away.