UPDATE: TMZ says that R. Kelly got what he wanted and he has been taken off of suicide watch.
It must have been a rude awakening for R. Kelly when he realized he was spending his Independence Day in a place that doesn’t celebrate independence: Prison! And with twenty-nine more firework-free holidays ahead I’m sure at some point he’ll forget what potato salad and chargrilled burgers taste like. I mean of course, ultimately he can go to Hell. But before that happens he has a long time in the pokey to think about his past three decades of inflicting abuse. And the people who run his current home, Metropolitan Detention Center, Brooklyn, have placed him on suicide watch. Although, R. Kelly’s trying to convince everyone he has no plans of harming himself or others.
According to TMZ R. Kelly is furious with the narrative being told that he requires surveillance, even though his past erratic behavior is reason enough to keep an eye on him (remember his interview with Gayle King?). And the folks who run MDC aren’t taking any chances of having the Pied Piper of Piss trying to take his own life so they’re making sure he remains on suicide watch until further notice. This devastated R. so much that he’s now suing MDC and its warden Heriberto H. Tellez for the deplorable conditions he’s living under.
The disgraced singer just filed suit against MDC Brooklyn, claiming they are subjecting him to “cruel and unusual punishment” under the harsh conditions of suicide watch because he’s a celebrity.
Kelly claims he was put on suicide watch this week after he was sentenced to 30 years in prison, arguing his 8th Amendment rights are being violated because “he is not suicidal and expressly told MDC officials that he was not suicidal and had no thoughts of harming himself or others.”
Here are few things R. Kelly needs to understand about this new phase in his life. The first is: Shut the fuck up. The second is: Nobody cares. And finally: Shut the fuck up. No one is coming to save you so I suggest you start writing some new material for the next prison talent show. Because you should definitely stay away from old songs like Feeling On Your Booty and It Seems Like You’re Ready. No one needs to be subjected to that.