It’s official. After months of trying to delay her 11-year prison sentence and the New York Times helping her rehabilitate her image, Theranos fraudster Elizabeth Holmes has finally reported to the clink. According to the Associated Press, 39-year-old Elizabeth (sorry, Liz) entered a federal women’s prison camp in Bryan, Texas earlier today. And, small world alert, it’s the same minimum security facility where the feds sent Housewives telemarketing scammer Jen Shah. Man, I hope these two become grifter-besties and star in their own prison reality show called House Of Fraud with Holmes & Shah.
The prison is about 95 miles northwest of Houston, where Elizabeth grew up. She will leave behind the two kids she had with her husband Billy Evans: William, who was born July 2021 (a few weeks before the start of her trial), and 3-month-old daughter Invicta, who was conceived after she was convicted of four felony counts of fraud and conspiracy in January 2022. Up until today, Elizabeth has been free on bail, and her whole thing these past few months has been, “But I’m a mother! You can’t possibly send a mother to jail!” Um, yes you can, Liz, they literally do it all the time. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to welcome children into the world.
The paps caught Elizabeth arriving at prison today. They claim she’s smiling, but I can’t really tell:
Elizabeth’s ex/partner in grift, Sunny Balwani, was convicted on 12 felony counts of fraud and conspiracy, and he’s currently serving a nearly 13-year prison sentence in Southern California. Sunny’s prison is also minimum security. AP says that most federal prison camps don’t even have fences, and house people whom the Bureau of Prison considers to be “the lowest security risk.” If Elizabeth wants, she can earn between 12 cents and $1.15 an hour on a job assignment, which includes food service and factory employment. Definitely a step down from being CEO of Theranos, a company that was worth around $9 billion at its peak.
Real Housewives of Salt Lake City’s Jen Shah has already seen her six-and-a-half-year prison sentence get reduced by a year. Will Elizabeth’s sentence also get shortened? With good behavior, maybe. All she has to do is not pretend to test her fellow inmates’ blood for a bunch of diseases. That may sound easy for you and me, but for Elizabeth Holmes, it’s like asking her not to breathe!