Category: Prince Andrew
Prince Andrew Is Reportedly “IN DESPAIR” Over Not Inheriting Any Of His Mummy THE QUEEN’s Estate
Since he’s absolutely done nothing wrong, I can understand why Prince Andrew, one of THE QUEEN’s only sons, is reportedly “in despair” that his rather homely older brother, King Charles III was the sole benefactor of their late mother THE QUEEN’s nearly $800M tax-free estate. Having myself been an only child, I can only imagine the humiliation and sadness he must feel. At least I got a 1999 Nissan Sentra when my mom kicked the bucket, but according to The Independent, Andrew has been left not only penniless but might be left with only his deceased father Prince Phillip’s Land Rover to drive. Which is indubitably haunted!
Sarah Ferguson Might Present At The Oscars Thanks To Her Friendship With Lisa Marie Presley
The decidedly unhip British Invasion 2.0 continues apace with The Sun reporting that since she and her free-loading, no-rent paying roommate/ex-husband Prince Andrew got booted out of their Royal Lodge by his brother King Charles III, Sarah Ferguson aka Original Fergie, has been nosing around on this side of the pond, and has already “struck up a close friendship with” a “mysterious Texan billionaire” while “networking in the US.” And Fergie’s next conquest might take place at this Sunday’s Oscars ceremony. The Sun reports that Fergie may even take the stage to hand out an award based on her “very close” friendship with the Presley family, recently-deceased Lisa Marie Presley in particular. My, my, my; m’lady sure does get around!
Prince William Reportedly Backed King Charles’ Decision To Evict Prince Harry and Meghan Markle From Frogmore
The decision to kick Harry Windsor and Meghan Markle out of their former UK home base, Frogmore Cottage, and move Prince Andrew in, wasn’t just King Charles’ call, apparently. The Daily Beast’s sources claim that the decision was made “in partnership” with the next king Prince William. Well, Will needs some pepper with that salt because it sounds like he’s getting back at his brother for hanging him out to dry in Harry’s book Spare, the royal embodiment of Regina George’s “Burn Book.”
Sarah Ferguson Thinks THE QUEEN’S GHOST Is Haunting Her Corgis
Original Fergie, aka Sarah Ferguson, aka Prince Andrew’s live-in ex-wife, has a historical fiction book to sell. So she’s “opening up about her beloved former mother-in-law”, THE QUEEN, and the two royal corgis, Sandy and Muick, in an interview with People. When THE QUEEN died back in September, the dogs were put in the care of Andrew and Fergz. After they said their official goodbyes at their dearly departed mum’s funeral procession, their furry little tushies were scooped up and taken to live at the Royal Lodge in Windsor. There they shall remain until they join THE QUEEN in the afterlife or until Andrew has to give up the house cuz he can’t afford it. My money’s on the second one. But don’t worry about the little poochies. Where corgis go, so goes their guardian angel: THE QUEEN’S ghost!
King Charles Has Evicted Prince Harry And Meghan Markle From Frogmore Cottage
King Charles has BKE (Big King Energy), and he wants us to know it. Charles is officially showing Prince Harry and Meghan Markle the royal door, and he’s letting it hit them on their asses on the way out. It’s being reported that Harry and Meghan have been evicted from Frogmore Cottage subsequent to Harry’s messy memoir Spare being released. After Harry aired out his family’s royal dirty laundry and more in his book, Charles has let Harry and Meghan know that they’ll have to stay at the Hilton the next time they’re in England because Frogmore is no longer their UK crash pad. And I guess Charles feels that Harry’s actions were worse than his brother Prince Andrew’s because he has reportedly offered Prince Predator the keys to Harry and Meg’s (former) secluded cottage. Because, well, they gotta keep Andrew away from people somehow.
King Charles Allegedly Doesn’t Want To Leave Prince Andrew “Homeless Or Penniless”
Last month, that no-good Prince Andrew (more like Prick Andrew [don’t steal that, that’s mine]) was officially booted out of his Buckingham Palace office and royal apartment by his landlord/brother, King Charles. Currently, 63-year-old Andrew lives in the Royal Lodge in Windsor with his ex-wife, Fergie. The Independent reports that the prince is telling his friends (I guess he hired a medium to contact bestie Jeffrey Epstein?) that he’s worried he’ll have to move out of the 98-acre estate by September if Charles cuts his royal allowance. But a royal source tells the Telegraph that “the King is not going to leave his brother homeless or penniless.” Bitch, why not?