Madonna Says She Tested Positive For Coronavirus Antibodies, Plans To Go Out And “Breathe In The COVID-19 Air”

May 1, 2020 / Posted by:

Madonna has returned to her video-making ways despite the alleged protests of the people around her. Her newest black and white artsy-fartsy Quarantine Diary was about how she’s apparently immune to the “great equalizer.” And since she thinks she’s protected from catching corona, she’s talking about taking her antibodies for a drive.

61-year-old Madonna has never been one to censor herself, so don’t expect her to stop farting out allegedly-poetic ponderings which she writes on a typewriter. In the case of her newest diary, there seemed to be a bit of divine intervention as her paper actually caught fire from a candle. But she put it out and it only spurred her inspiration. In her fourteenth Quarantine Diary, Madonna said (via Washington Times):

“I think it’s quite significant that the paper I’m typing on just caught on fire and consumed my paper. I am so confused in my own confusion, so bewildered in my incapacity to express my disappointment, so unwilling to fight with people I have been in quarantine with, because I know the futility of it. And yet I want to taste the satisfaction of being known, of being understood.”

Madonna also said:

“I want so badly to be released from the bondage of giving a fuck.”

Um, Madge, I don’t think you’ve given a fuck since the beginning of time. Madonna went on to say that she tested positive for corona antibodies, and even though the CDC says that it’s not clear if that makes you immune to the virus, she thinks it does and wants to inhale all those COVID-19 droplets:

“Took a test the other day. And I found out that I have the antibodies, so tomorrow, I’m just going to go for a long drive in a car, and I’m going to roll down the window, and I’m going to breathe in, I’m going to breathe in the COVID-19 air.”

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Did you hear the Jeopardy! jingle in the background? Or have I just been writing about Jeopardy! too much this week? But back to Madge, the CDC also states that those with corona antibodies may or may not be able to spread the virus to others. That shit isn’t known right now. But yet, Madge wants to go out in the wild. And we thought Kylie Jenner was out of touch? At least she won’t drive her Bugatti during a quarantine! Okay, okay, she’s still going for leisurely drives, but only drives her much more practical Lamborghini.

Pic: Instagram

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