People Keep Pooping During Performances Of Broadway’s “Some Like It Hot”, And Last Week It Happened Near Hillary And Chelsea Clinton
Last week, Hillary Clinton and Chelsea Clinton went to the Shubert Theatuhhh on Broadway to see the new musical adaptation of Some Like It Hot. Unfortunately, this lovely mother-daughter outing was soiled by a nefarious Number 2-er! Page Six reports that, when the lights came up at intermission, two “human turds” appeared in the aisle “just near” Hillary and Chelsea. Two Clintons? Two poops? It doesn’t take the brilliant investigative mind of Nancy
Drew Poo to deduce the identities of the deuce-droppers. LOCK HER(S) UP! But, according to the theater’s house manager, this is actually the fourth time someone has pooped during a performance of Some Like It Hot. So it sounds like we got ourselves a good ol’ fashioned phantom pooper.
I’ve got to hand it to Kim Kardashian, the girl’s got gumption. There is no door she’s unwilling to barge through, no ceiling too high. And because we live in increasingly stupid times, people just let her! Not only do they let her, but they are also inviting her in to have a seat at the table in the rooms where it happens. According to TMZ, Kim had a busy couple of days, first having coffee with Hillary and Chelsea Clinton on Monday, then going to dinner at Jeff Bezos’ mansion with her boyfriend Pete Davidson on Tuesday. And personally, I think these leaders of the free world need to start locking their doors at night, just as a precaution until we figure out what’s going on. She could be a Russian asset for all we know!
Last Thursday HBO Max subscribers received an empty email with the subject: “Integration Test Email”, and a single-sentence message that read, “This template is used by integration tests only.” Huh? Soon the HBO Max Help account tweeted out an apology, explaining that an intern had done a whoopsies. Obviously, Twitter had a chuckle, and soon “Dear Intern” was trending; people shared their own intern fuck ups from back in their day and gave advice to the poor HBO Max intern (and all current interns, really). It was kinda sweet.
But who’s the most famous former intern of all time? THEE Monica Lewinsky. She tweeted, “dear intern: it gets better. <3 ps. don’t wear a beret for awhile, k?” Rather than be amused by the tweet or press the ‘like’ button, or, I dunno, ignore it, a bunch of people accused Monica of dredging up the past, roping Hillary Clinton into the conversation, and making herself out to be the victim. Really, Twitter?
From the Department of WHY?! comes the news that Hulu has made moves to turn the political fanfic, Rodham, into a series. Rodham is a fantasy novel from Curtis Sittenfeld and tells the life story of Hillary Rodham Clinton if she never married Bill Clinton. Hulu wants to put that story onto our TV screens. In the words of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 presidential campaign Twitter intern: Delete your Hulu account, Hulu.
The house that Madea built comes complete with an exact replica of Madea’s actual house, which itself is just down the street from Tyler Perry Presents The White House (built to scale for a BET show called The Oval. Hopefully someone will actually watch it because that shit was expensive). That’s how rich Tyler Perry is. Over the weekend, every actor, director, and writer in Hollywood in possession of even an ounce of melanin, plus The Clintons, seemed to be in Atlanta to celebrate the grand opening of Tyler Perry Studios. Even Spike Lee, who once famously accused Tyler of “coonery buffoonery“, was there!
Many people have spent the past few days saying Donald Trump’s name over and over (sometimes with as much pissed-off energy as a human body can summon). Mariah Carey might be feeling that sentiment, but she certainly isn’t letting the words “President Trump” come from her. Because Mariah recently let it be known that Trump isn’t her President.