Category: Michelle Obama

Some People Have Issues With The Duchess Meghan Edited Issue Of British Vogue

July 30, 2019 / Posted by:

We can add Vogue Magazine to the list of things Duchess Meghan has ruined for good (previous entries include but are not limited to: The Monarchy, common decency, Suits seasons 1-7, Wimbledon, Princess Diana’s legacy, baby showers, and Michael K’s rich fantasy life). As previously reported, Meghan guest edited the September issue of British Vogue featuring 15 “changemakers” but not the kind that walk around ballparks and arcades with those belts filled with nickels and dimes. Instead of using her unprecedented opportunity to highlight the glory of pretty clothes on pretty ladies, she used her platform to shove her COMMUNIST AGENDA down everybody’s throat in a move Piers Morgan called a “shamelessly hypocritical super-woke Vogue stunt“, which just so happens to be the name of my band!

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Apparently, The Obamas Congratulated JLo And A-Rod On Their Engagement

March 24, 2019 / Posted by:

I wonder if these are the kinds of antics we should prepare ourselves for as the impending union of Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez threatens us off in the distance. The couple, who will probably strap mirrors to each others’ faces when they read their vows, are already starting with the name dropping by claiming former presidential couple Barack and Michelle Obama have sent them well wishes for a long and happy marriage, which probably made JLo chuckle in her soul.

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Open Post: Hosted By George W. Bush Slipping Michelle Obama Some More Candy

December 5, 2018 / Posted by:

During the funeral for John McCain back in September, George W. Bush was seen pulling sweet Grandpa moves by sneaking a piece of candy to Michelle Obama, who was sitting beside him. Bush Jr. and Michelle recreated their funeral candy moment again today during the state funeral for Bush’s late father and former President, George H. W. Bush.

It happened after Bush Jr. and Laura Bush walked in and greeted the line-up of ex-Presidents (and Donald Trump) in the front row. Bush shook Trump’s hand, then Melania Trump’s, then Barack Obama, and when he got to his girl Michelle, he took her hand and palmed her a candy.

That’s enjoyable, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the dying inside look on Melania’s face after she realizes she got the “Aaaaand none for Gretchen Wieners” treatment. Speaking of dying inside, you know Trump was so pissed that he wasn’t given any special attention via pocket candy, and right after he got Hillary Clinton shade. I bet if he had his phone on him, he would have whipped it out and tweeted something bitter at Bush Jr. and Michelle for excluding him from their special club. “Whatever, I don’t need your sad candy. I’ve got my own, better candy. And yes I’m talking about an escort named Candy, and she’s petite, sweet, and very discreet.

Pic: Twitter


In Her New Book, Michelle Obama Says Barack Taught Her How To Swerve

November 13, 2018 / Posted by:

You know Michelle Go High” Obama has Seen. Some. Shit. Tragically for us, she’s not a petty bitch like me and and that other one, so Michelle kept things professional in her memoir Becoming, which debuts today. Michelle sat down with Oprah Winfrey for Elle Magazine to discuss her book and life after The White House. In the interview, she touched on her working class upbringing, the sacrifices her parents made, her marriage to Barack Obama, and how she’ll never forgive Donald Trump and his birtherism for putting her family at risk.

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All Of You And The Obamas Have Something In Common: You Weren’t Invited To Prince Hot Ginge’s Wedding 

April 10, 2018 / Posted by:

No, I am not including myself in that headline, because I got my authentic invitation in the mail, bitch!

But sadly for Barack and Michelle Obama, their mailbox didn’t get fucked by an invitation to the British royal wedding of May 2018 (I’m not going to say “British royal wedding of the year,” because Jodie Marsh could still marry someone this year). Although, neither did the mailbox of any other world leader, past or present.

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