Dame Helen Mirren is on the cover of People’s 2022 Beautiful issue, namely because she is beautiful and famous and has a lil’ somethin’ called “swagger” (her words). But 76-year-old Helen says she was shocked to receive the honor, as she’s never considered herself beautiful. “And at my age!” Hot bitch please, we know you’ve seen those bikini pics from 2008.
People Magazine Has Released Their 2020 People Of The Year Issues, Starring Regina King And Dr. Fauci
We’re narrowing in on the end of the longest year on record (at least it’s felt like 84 years). And with that comes a million end-of-year lists. We already know that whatever pap-strolling blisters Ana de Armas got over the past nine months paid off in the form of the number one spot on IMDb’s Top Stars list. Spotify Wrapped has generously compiled listeners top 5 most played songs and albums, thus subsequently exposing everyone’s most terrible taste in music. And People magazine has published their 2020 People of the Year issue, about a month after they published their annual People’s Sexiest Man of the Year issue. That’s good timing. A month seems like enough time to recover from thirsting hard over Michael B. Jordan’s arms on the cover.
Anderson Cooper is over the moon! While he may not have used those words exactly, given his participation in the venerated tradition of showing off your new baby on the cover of People Magazine, over-the-mooness is strongly implied. Hey, if it’s good enough for “Snooki’s Jersey Boy”, then it’s good enough for Anderson’s little “Dream Come True!”
Thank God for People’s “Beautiful Issue”. If it weren’t for this annual sacred tome, how would we know which humans are hot and which ones are uggos? This year, People took a wild risk and crowned two hot blonde members of Hollywood royalty (and a baby) as their “Beautiful” cover girls… which… WOW. Welcome to the new world!
It’s that time of year where the drinks at Starbucks go from being cloyingly sweet pumpkin monstrosities to cloyingly sweet peppermint monstrosities, and strains of Mariah Carey’s AIWFCIY repeat and repeat in your brain until you want to stab yourself in the ear with the sharp end of a half-eaten candy cane just to make it stop. That means it’s also time for utterly meaningless lists! From the people who decided John Legend was the sexiest man alive, comes People Magazine’s equally dubious People Of The Year list. It’s like Time Magazine’s Person of The Year, only it’s decided by the intern who does the Starbucks runs. Congratulations to Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez and Taylor Swift‘s publicists. The editorial staff only got to make one “out of contract” pick, and they went with Michelle Obama.
On Tuesday night, People magazine named John Legend its Sexiest Man Alive for 2019. Less than 24 hours later, Us Weekly just so happened to reveal their own, totally original sexiness-based list, titled “Sexiest Men Alive.” The list also made its way into this week’s issue of Us Weekly. The goal of both People and Us Weekly’s Sexy Alive Men designation is to inspire tepid horniness, but in People’s case, it allegedly inspired them to call their lawyers.