Melissa McCarthy Will Be Appearing In That “Gilmore Girls” Reboot After All

When it was announced way back in January that Netflix was rebooting Gilmore Girls, most people figured Melissa McCarthy was far too famous and busy for that shit and the part of Sookie St. James would probably end up being played by a DVD of Tammy in a wig. Hell, even Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman-Palladino figured she’d be too busy, so she didn’t bother asking her to come back and be a part of it. A little while later, Melissa admitted that someone did eventually call her up about it, but that scheduling conflicts were preventing her from slipping into her chef’s coat and hot kerchief.

Well, it looks like you can go ahead and pop a bottle of sparkling coffee and crank the Paul Anka up to 11 (yes I just outed myself as a Gilmore Girls nerd), because Melissa McCarthy confirmed that she will be back for the Gilmore Girls reboot during a taping of Ellen yesterday.

Melissa is a huge Academy Award-nomiated STAR! now, so I don’t know what this means for the Gilmore Girls reboot budget. All I can say is that they better have enough money left over to bring back the two brightest celestial beings of Stars Hollow. A Gilmore Girls reboot is nothing without the Marlboro-voiced sun-bleached unicorn Babette and her sassy sidekick Miss Patty.

Here’s Melissa McCarthy and her husband Ben Falcone in New York earlier this week while working the press circuit for that Martha-with-roid-rage movie The Boss.

Pics: The WB, Wenn.com

The Trailer For The New “Ghostbusters” Movie Is Here

No, you’re not looking at the money shot from a food play porno sponsored by Key Lime Slime Twinkies. But I’m sure that exists somewhere if that’s the kind of thing that does it for your down-lows. The day that Ghostbusters fans have been waiting for/dreading (depending on what side of the Ghostbusters all-lady reboot argument you’re on) is finally here. Sony released the first official trailer for the new Ghostbusters movie starring Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon, and Leslie Jones earlier today, and it truly has everything. Ghosts. Slime. Wigs. Chris Hemsworth kicking down a door in nerd glasses. A melancholy CGI Victorian ghost that I’m pretty sure is actually Rooney Mara trying her hand at some Andy Serkis-style motion capture.

Overall, I’m into it (Kate McKinnon dressed in Forever 21 Tank Girl drag sold it for me). But I do have two notes:

1. Where’s the ghost blowjob scene?!? Ghostbusters is nothing without a sexy ghost going down on a horny buster.

2. They updated a lot, but for some reason Slimer is still the same old Slimer? This is 2016 New York, not 1984 New York. There’s no way Slimer can still afford to live downtown. Unless Slimer found a way to get rich by injecting himself into the lips of Manhattan socialites, he’s definitely living with 18 strangers in Brooklyn.

I’m also a little shocked they didn’t extend the whole gender-reversal thing to the the surprised ghost in the Ghostbusters logo. Or maybe they did try it, but it ended up looking too much like the undead version of KFC’s sexy chicken nugget from Japan and they didn’t want to get sued.

The All-Female Ghostbusters Has A Cast

Shiiiiiiiiit! Well, so much for my dream cast of Charo, Taraji P. Henson as Cookie Lyon, Phoebe Price and Detective La Toya Jackson.

During the past few months, we were told that the Ghostbusters reboot was going to star Jennifer Lawrence, then Emma Stone, then Rebel Wilson, then Lizzy Caplan, then Amy Schumer and then the girl at your local Starbucks who always write a heart over the i in your name. After months of rumors, director Paul Feig, who created Freaks & Geeks and did Bridesmaids, finally tweeted pictures of the actual cast today. The Hollywood Reporter confirms that Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon are very close to officially signing on to be the new Ghostbusters. You know Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig, and you also know Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon if you’re watching the current season of Saturday Night Live since they’re both on that shit.

THR says that this Ghostbusters is a reboot and not a continuation of the original. They’re not going to be the daughters of the first Ghostbusters or anything. In an e-mail from the Sony hack, Paul Feig told Sony’s Amy Pascal that he wants Peter Dinklage to play the villain. HitFlix also posted what may be a plot detail:

Erin Gabler and Abby Bergman are the first two leads, and as the film begins, they are former colleagues. They co-wrote a book about the paranormal together, then went in different directions. Erin works for Columbia, and she’s getting close to tenure, while Abby is more involved in the pursuit of ghosts, with a new partner named Jillian. In a world where there are thirty different “Ghost Hunters” style TV shows out there, the set-up makes sense, and it sets up a tension between serious academic motives and mainstream pop parapsychology.

If I was guessing, I’d bet Wiig is Erin, Jones is Abby, and McKinnon is Jillian. That’s because I’m almost positive Patty, an MTA subway ticket employee who stumbles across the main ghost in the film, is going to be McCarthy. Seems like a perfect fit for her, and I can see how all four of them will fit together as a team.

I cannot produce any feelings about a Ghostbusters reboot until I know two things:

1. Does Sigourney Weaver reprise her role as Dana/Zuul in it?

2. If Sigourney Weaver is in it, which one of those four ladies is she going to try to scissor with?

And Here’s A Knocked-Up Keira Knightley Serving Up Some Low-Budget Rose Petal Place Realness

All that’s missing is a tiny parasol and a hat made out of a giant flower. And bigger hair (those Rose Petal Place gals had some on-point beauty pageant hair). When I think of Golden Globes fashion, I think of champagne-scented body shimmer sophistication and still tacky eyelash glue glamour, as seen on living makeup brush Jennifer Lopez. What I don’t think of is Sears Summer Nightgown Fly Fishing Lure Couture, as seen on a newly knocked up Keira Knightley.

Not that she looks bad; she actually looks a lot like a very pretty porcelain doll I had when I was 6 whose glass eyes kept falling out, and even without eyes that doll was elegant as hell. But she’s not bringing enough devastating shimmer and shine to the red carpet. If there’s any time to wrap your baby gut in sequins, it’s at the Oscar’s drunk cousin.

Keira’s dress also reminds me of an embroidered dress I had when I was little that I called my “senorita dress”. It had elastic around the neck so you pull it down around your shoulders if you felt a little sassy. But since I was like 8 or something, I had to wear it around my neck, demure-style, like Keira. Maybe Keira figured that random butterfly on her right hand was sassy enough.

Here’s more Keira looking like a Barbie in a home-made dress, as well as a bunch of other famous types in questionable couture from last night, including Kristen Wiig who was feeling sassy enough, Rosamund Pike who was about two seconds from having everything fall out, and some chick named Tiziana Rocca who looks like Dina Lohan after a Long Island Ice Tea bender and may be my new life inspiration:

Pics: FameFlynet, Wenn.com, Splash

What In Project Runway Secret Bedazzled Bike Shorts Hell?

On second thought, Kerry Washington’s Emmy dress isn’t exactly Project Runway-levels of WTF (there’s not nearly enough peplums or random-ass fabric “flowers”). It’s actually closer in range to something Tina Knowles would have thrown together last-minute for Michelle Williams, if Tina Knowles ran out of satin, denim, neon lace, redundant belt buckles, fringe, and only had a bolt of busted Tang-colored jersey, some leftover ribbon scraps, and a pair of Beyoncé’s old sequined hot pants. Even Kerry Washington knows she looks not-great. Her face is like: “HAAAAAY! I’m a mess, but everyone loves me, so haters to the left!”

It’s a scientific fact that Kerry Washington can’t ever look bad, so technically this look falls into the category of ‘Not exactly a home-run’. But sometimes you just say fuck it, I’m wearing black-tie bike shorts and a dress with weird seams that make it look like I’m a reflection in a Fun House mirror, and applying some dusty blue garage doors to my eyelids and if I have time, I’ll finger-comb some Batiste dry shampoo through my hair in the limo, because YOLO. Or LIGAF. Or whatever the acronym for “fuck effort, I’m only here for the booze” is.

But my say something nice is that she kind of looks like what the lazy sluts do on Halloween when they forgot to get a costume and all they have to work with is an orange dress from Bebe, so they just go out to the club as “Sexy..uh…Halloween Girl?“, which is literally my favorite thing ever.

Here’s more of Kerry, as well as all the other fancy-dressed hos from the Emmys in no particular order. Just kidding! I put the hottest first! Jon Hamm (the whole gallery should be pictures of Jon Hamm from various angles, but I don’t wanna be a creep)(too late)! Christina “Chichi Queen” Hendricks! Peter Dinklage! Donna from That 70s Show!

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

And The Best Dressed Of The Critics’ Choice Awards Goes To…

Even The Mighty O is intrigued by this black-swan-casket-skirt-biker-shorts disaster.

The best way to wear black Spandex biker shorts is to wear them under shredded jean shorts with a Body Glove tank top and British Knights. The second best way to wear black Spandex biker shorts is to wear them under a dress that looks like an ornate gothic nightie that was scrunched up in the corner of an attic and was used as a bed by a bunch of crows. Adele Exarchopoulos knows what I’m talking about. Adele Exarchopoulos won Best Young Actor at the Critics’ Choice Awards in Santa Monica for her performance in Coochie Is The Warmest Color and she made every Academy voter fist themselves without lube for not nominating her for Best Actress. If she wore this to a third tier awards show, imagine what she would’ve worn to the OSCAHS! When dressing for the Critics’ Choice Awards, hos usually stroll to their dirty laundry basket, pick up whatever’s at the top and put it on. They do their makeup in the car. They don’t give three shits while dressing for that crap. So if Adele wore this, I’m guessing she would’ve worn a Hypercolor catsuit and Airwalk Jim heels to the Oscars.

Adele looks like she was cycling in a race when she crashed into a walking funeral procession for a fallen drag queen before landing into a bunch of black pigeons taking a nap together. It is the look. You can never go wrong with sequins and biker shorts.

Here’s more pictures from that shit last night including Jeremy Renner pinching his nipples for the photographers and Abigail Breslin looking like a 50-year-old brothel madam.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com