Lena Headey played a queen on the now-over Game of Thrones, (a show which did not end up with the winner shouting “Jenga!” or “Bingo!” like I had hoped). I’ve never seen GoT, but everything I know about it I learned from Shangela’s confessionals on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, and that seems like enough of a catch-up for me. But I do know who Cersei is; she’s the Queen who went from having long hair to short, and was played by Lena Headey. Lena may have been a perfect fit, because a rumor claims she’s much of a Queen off-screen as she is on. Whatever Lena wants, Lena gets. Like when she wanted to make sure her ex stayed as far away from her on set as possible.
The producers of Game of Thrones are tired. They’ve been at this shit since 2011. Sure, we’ve only gotten 8 seasons in as many years (Tyra Banks is NOT impressed), but it’s a lot of hours of television to produce. We shouldn’t be surprised that they’re getting sloppy as they approach the finish line. When season 8, episode 4 (“The Last of The Starks“) aired last week, raven-eyed viewers spotted a Starbucks cup sitting on the table in front of Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) and the internet screamed CONTINUITY ERROR. Everybody knows the last Starbucks in Westeros (located next to the gift shop at the east corner of The Wall) burned down in season 7. HBO rushed to digitally erase it, but the damage was already done. People now know GOT isn’t a documentary as it was previously assumed to be. And there was another error related to last night’s penultimate episode.
*Spoilers for episode 5, “The Bells“, ahead.
On second thought, Kerry Washington’s Emmy dress isn’t exactly Project Runway-levels of WTF (there’s not nearly enough peplums or random-ass fabric “flowers”). It’s actually closer in range to something Tina Knowles would have thrown together last-minute for Michelle Williams, if Tina Knowles ran out of satin, denim, neon lace, redundant belt buckles, fringe, and only had a bolt of busted Tang-colored jersey, some leftover ribbon scraps, and a pair of Beyoncé’s old sequined hot pants. Even Kerry Washington knows she looks not-great. Her face is like: “HAAAAAY! I’m a mess, but everyone loves me, so haters to the left!”
It’s a scientific fact that Kerry Washington can’t ever look bad, so technically this look falls into the category of ‘Not exactly a home-run’. But sometimes you just say fuck it, I’m wearing black-tie bike shorts and a dress with weird seams that make it look like I’m a reflection in a Fun House mirror, and applying some dusty blue garage doors to my eyelids and if I have time, I’ll finger-comb some Batiste dry shampoo through my hair in the limo, because YOLO. Or LIGAF. Or whatever the acronym for “fuck effort, I’m only here for the booze” is.
But my say something nice is that she kind of looks like what the lazy sluts do on Halloween when they forgot to get a costume and all they have to work with is an orange dress from Bebe, so they just go out to the club as “Sexy..uh…Halloween Girl?“, which is literally my favorite thing ever.
Here’s more of Kerry, as well as all the other fancy-dressed hos from the Emmys in no particular order. Just kidding! I put the hottest first! Jon Hamm (the whole gallery should be pictures of Jon Hamm from various angles, but I don’t wanna be a creep)(too late)! Christina “Chichi Queen” Hendricks! Peter Dinklage! Donna from That 70s Show!
Horn-horn (© Allison) Game of Thrones nerds have long drooled with anticipation over the eventual filming and airing of a scene straight from the books in which brother-fuckin’ hell-mama Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey) struts that naked ass (and naked boobs, and naked wooka) out of a church for all to jizz over. Unfortunately for them, this halt is screeching. It turns out that Croatia (where much of Game of Thrones is filmed) isn’t big on their churches hosting kitty-kat on parade.
TMZ reports that the local film commission has denied GOT (yes, I am lazy enough to employ that acronym) the permit to shoot the scene in the Church of St. Nicholas in Dubrovnik, Croatia. The churchies hold major sway there and, like many churchies, hate sex and bodies. This is despite their country’s name looking like it’s pronounced “crotch-ya” (© Allison, again, she’s on today and should have just written this post).
A source says that the scene is a pivotal one
to boners to the storyline and they’re not gonna strike it from the script. You know there’s one exec over at HBO who’s all “I have been waiting five goddam seasons to see Lena Headey’s bushwoman come out of that fucking church and my mental fap file will not be denied!”
Anyway, that particular part of production is currently at a stand-still. No word yet on whether or not construction has begun on a mock church front from which Leda Headey will walk out baring her gifts. And if she HAS to wear SOMETHING, it should be that hainty t-shirt gently bordering her hey na na.
Check out pics below of Lena Headey arriving for her Jimmy Kimmel appearance earlier this summer, and from the Game of Thrones Season 4 premiere in NYC last year.