Last March Keira Knightley announced to the world that she was done baring bum, boobies, and bush on camera. No more nude scenes! She explained that it was because having babies made her nipples droopy, and she knew eventually (errr, immediately) that shit would end up on a porn site. Now she’s elaborating, explaining on the Chanel Connects podcast that she won’t be filming nude scenes or sex scenes — especially if the director is a man.
Keira Knightley is an award-winning British thespian. In a rich and enviable filmography, she has played a duchess, a princess, and a number of haughty, upper-crust society ladies. She has ALSO played an assassin, a physician, a physicist and a swashbuckler. The girl’s got range. But apparently there is one thing Keira cannot do––or rather, can no longer do: nude scenes.
It’s not that Keira suddenly developed a case of shy boobs. It’s motherhood.
Category is: wordless baby announcements!
While Duchess Meghan and Prince Hot Ginge’s unborn baby continues to fuck with the British media by staying unborn, causing them to cancel their weekend plans, the likes of Blake NotSoLively and Keira Knightley, who pulled a Blake (or maybe Blake pulled an original KK) announced their own baby news without saying one damn word.
Precisely! Anyone who’s ever clocked the ladies room line at any highly-attended event knows this. Keira Knightley is plugging her new flick Collete and, in an interview with The Guardian, opined that having a penis must make life a little easier. At least when it comes to peeing. “Yep. Sure does.” – people with penises.
Not too long ago, I went to visit some friends who are parents to a 3-year-old girl. After the second day, I almost used my phone to call the nearest mental hospital to beg them to please come collect me since my already-shredded brains had been shredded even more by the non-stop warble of Emma Watson singing in the CGI turd of a live-action Beauty and the Beast movie. My friend’s 3-year-old watches it on a loop, and I’m convinced that the demonic genius that is Mickey Mouse has evil hidden messages in his movies, which hypnotizes 3-year-olds into watching that shit show non-stop. I have the brain of a fetus so it doesn’t work on me. Nice try, Mickey! But you won’t find certain Disney princess movies playing on a loop at Keira Knightley’s house.
Keira Knightley dragged Duchess Kate and her perfect post-birth look in an essay titled “The Weaker Sex.” But according to Keira, she didn’t mean it and the whole thing has been taken out of context.