Category: Meghan Markle
Prince Harry And Meghan Markle’s Netflix Docuseries Will Debut Next Month After All
It’s hard to believe that people, MYSELF INCLUDED, thought that the reign of King Charles III would be a flop. So it is with much humility and shame that I must commend him for the fortitude and bravery with which he has faced his toughest challenges as a monarch since outing himself as a feminine hygiene fetishist. From being portrayed by an egregiously more handsome man on The Crown, to ducking eggs like a nebbish third grader who inadvertently wandered into the middle of a dodgeball game, Chuckie Trips has handled himself with aplomb and barely even got ink in his mouth that one time he used that leaky pen. So I am now convinced that there is no storm that King Charles III can’t weather, and that includes Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s Netflix documentary series being released in time for Christmas, instead of next year as they reportedly wanted. Even if, as The Sun reports, Harry and Megan weren’t able to make the final changes they wanted to soften the blow in the wake of THE QUEEN’s passing. Now Charles, like Harry, Meghan and the rest of us, are just going to have to suck it up and raw-dog the truth. Consequences be damned!
A Royal Expert Claims That Meghan Markle Asked Princess Kate To Be On Her Podcast
There’s a rumor that Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle (pictured above approximately 4 billion years ago when they were still pretending to like each other) might reunite for an episode of Meghan’s podcast Archetypes. Express reports that Neil Sean, a “royal expert” (aren’t we all, at this point?) claimed Meghan asked Kate to guest on the podcast during her recent visit to the UK. I can see it now! “Today’s archetype is… evil, racist royals. What do you think about that particular archetype, Duchess Kate?”
Howie Mandel Defended Meghan Markle’s “Deal Or No Deal” Briefcase Model Bimbo Comments
Meghan Markle recently had the Queen of Bimbos, Paris Hilton, on her podcast Archetypes to discuss being stereotyped as a bimbo (I cannot get behind her usage of “archetype“). Meghan made many an eye roll by talking about how her stint as a briefcase model on Deal or No Deal made her feel like a bimbo. Whoopi Goldberg basically said that when you’re an entertainer, you do the job and shut it; and ex-Real Housewife of Atlanta and former DOND briefcase model, Claudia Jordan, spoke out against Meghan’s account of her experience. Both takes are warranted, because why would Meghan think that opening numbered briefcases with dollar amounts in them would be intellectually stimulating? Surely, the entirety of the casting description was to “look cute, pop latches, and clap.” But apparently, not everyone muttered “oh, fuck OFF,” under their breaths; Howie Mandel, who hosted DOND, defended Meghan’s comments.
Whoopi Goldberg And Claudia Jordan Clap Back At Meghan Markle For Her “Deal Or No Deal” ‘Bimbo Comment
Long gone are the days when Meghan Markle had to rely on her beauty to charm the masses on Deal Or No Deal because her beauty isn’t charming anyone over in jolly ol’ England. And even though she’ll never have to parade around in clearance rack Forever 21 outfits anymore, she still wanted to express how objectified she felt during her time as one of the 26 Case Queens on the show. Well, her words fell upon some very awakened ears as both The View host Whoopi Goldberg and her former co-worker Claudia Jordan are making Meghan eat her words with a few of their own.
Paris Hilton Guested On Meghan Markle’s Podcast, And Meghan Said She Quit “Deal Or No Deal” Because It Made Her Feel Like A Bimbo
Meghan Markle’s podcast, Archetypes, is all about… archetypes! The dictionary says an archetype is “a very typical example of a certain person or thing,” and Meghan’s podcast dives into the tropes and labels used to pigeonhole women. Now, I ain’t no English major, but that sorta feels more like a “stereotype,” non? Unfortunately, Meghan and Prince Harry’s company is called Archewell, not Stereowell. And their son’s name is Archie, not Stereoie. So Archetypes it is! On this week’s episode, the archetype was “bimbo”, and the guest was one of the biggest bimbos of all time. No, not Angelyne (I wish). It was Paris Hilton!
Netflix May Delay Prince Harry And Meghan Markle’s Docuseries After Former British Prime Minister John Major Complained About “The Crown”
Another day, another appalled British dude who should be sending Netflix a lovely gift basket as a thank-you for casting a relative hottie to play them on The Crown, but is complaining instead. As we know, The Palace’s ass is already puckered over what might be depicted next season as The Crown catches up to more modern events. And now, with the premiere of season five fast approaching, former British PM Sir John Major (played by Jonny Lee Miller) has come out strongly against a plot point that he thinks is going to play out in an upcoming episode involving King Charles III, formerly known as Prince Charles (Dominic West), whining to him that his mom THE QUEEN (Imelda Staunton) won’t abdicate the throne to him. I’m like, Sir, get your priorities straight. Jonny Lee Miller has actual lips! I mean, they’re still British, but they’re there.