Well, now I get why Ben Affleck wasn’t feeling very festive at the Grammys, and it had nothing to do with his relationship with Jennifer Lopez. I have just watched the trailer for Ben’s upcoming film Air, which he directed and which stars his work wife, Matt Damon, and if you had put your heart and soul into the work, and even went so far as to give yourself the same Ogilvie Home Perm my mom used to rock back in the day, and this was the result? Well, then, you’d look miserable too. The movie is about two Nike bros who save the ailing company by exploiting Michael Jordan’s popularity. I know Viola Davis, who plays MJ’s mom in this, looked perfectly happy at the Grammys, but she probably only had to roll through for a couple of hours for her scenes. She’s not that invested, and why should she be? She already done had herses (EGOT). So naturally she wasn’t clenching her ass cheeks all night waiting for the trailer about the other shoe to drop. But Ben earned his misery fair and square.
If you’re a queer person who feels like they weren’t sufficiently pandered to this week, have we got the interview for you! Ewan McGregor and that sexy dancer Chris Messina play the villains in the upcoming Harley Quinn flick, Birds of Prey, and they’ve seen fit to tease and tantalize us with the insider knowledge that their characters are probably gay and in love. Seeing as this isn’t a very special episode of L.A. Law in 1991, allow me to type some ZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Whenever I think of the American boy next door who splits his time working part-time at the last operating Blockbuster and getting high in the loading docks behind the local Target, it’s usually Chris Messina’s face that works with that kinda bro. Chris stepped out on the Golden Globes red carpet with a new platinum blonde lewk. Admittedly, I looked at him and thought, “Who?” Alas, Twitter looked at him and blew off at both ends.