Well, now I get why Ben Affleck wasn’t feeling very festive at the Grammys, and it had nothing to do with his relationship with Jennifer Lopez. I have just watched the trailer for Ben’s upcoming film Air, which he directed and which stars his work wife, Matt Damon, and if you had put your heart and soul into the work, and even went so far as to give yourself the same Ogilvie Home Perm my mom used to rock back in the day, and this was the result? Well, then, you’d look miserable too. The movie is about two Nike bros who save the ailing company by exploiting Michael Jordan’s popularity. I know Viola Davis, who plays MJ’s mom in this, looked perfectly happy at the Grammys, but she probably only had to roll through for a couple of hours for her scenes. She’s not that invested, and why should she be? She already done had herses (EGOT). So naturally she wasn’t clenching her ass cheeks all night waiting for the trailer about the other shoe to drop. But Ben earned his misery fair and square.
Serious method ACTOR Jeremy Strong has emulated and idolized Daniel Day-Lewis ever since he was a teenager and had a poster of him in My Left Foot on his bedroom wall. And whereas DDL won an Oscar for his performance in that film, it’s unlikely he can brag about being to, to this day, masturbate without using his hands. But I bet Jeremy can, given the seriousness with which he takes his craft! And based on the comments from some of his Succession castmates that accompany a new profile of him in The New Yorker, he’s really fucking annoying with that shit. Like DDL, who Jeremy went on to work for as an assistant, is probably so embarrassed for him right now he’s asking his agent to get him a role as a blind hermit or something so he can pretend not to see him next time they run into each other.
Move over Piven, Irons and Renner, there’s a new eye-roll-inducing Jeremy on the scene! IndieWire reports that Succession star Jeremy Strong has been following in the hand cobbled footsteps of the MC Method Master, his one-time employer Daniel Day-Lewis, and is perhaps taking his role as one of the Chicago Seven, a bit too seriously. Jeremy plays civil rights activist Jerry Rubin in The Trial of the Chicago 7, an upcoming Netflix movie from Aaron Sorkin about the infamous trial that followed the aftermath of the protests at the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago. Apparently, not satisfied with doing the old Sorkin walk and talk, Jeremy asked to do a Sorkin walk and get sprayed in the face with actual tear gas. I can’t wait to see him on Broadway in For Method Actors Who Have Considered Tear Gas / When Onion Juice Is Enuf.
If you asked me to guess what type of phone Daniel Day-Lewis prefers, I’d probably answer one of those wind up kind with a removable mouthpiece that you have to shout into and lives in the halls of 1930’s boarding houses. He’s an old timey kind of guy, so of course he’s going to use an old timey telephone. But for some reason, people seem to have forgotten we’re dealing with a man who cobbles his own shoes. It shouldn’t be a surprise to learn that he was seen on a NYC Subway using a flip phone. It’s actually more surprising that he takes the subway at all instead of getting from place to place riding one of those bicycles with a giant front wheel.
A journalist named Karen Han spotted DDL casually handling a dusty relic of a bygone era on a subway train headed downtown and #tooktotwitter to share her the news. Karen even managed to snap a shot of him looking like any normal middle-aged, vaguely hipsterish schlub.
for everyone who asked for pictorial evidence pic.twitter.com/D4rHXPljZp
— karen han (@karenyhan) April 5, 2018
When the hardest thespian who ever thespian’d, Daniel Day-Lewis, semi-retired from acting in the 90s, he went off to make shoes. DDL announced last week that he’s retiring again, and Page Six says that like last time, he’s planning to spend his days making shit you wear. Only this time he’s going to make dresses.
History says that the art of acting was born before 534 BC when Thespis took the stage and played a character in a play. Well, the art of acting had a really good run, but the game is done now that the ac-TOR of all ac-TORS, Daniel Day-Lewis, has announced to the world that he’s retiring forever! Today, the comedy and tragedy masks are both crying over acting being done!