Night Crumbs

September 14, 2022 / Posted by:

Last month, Tommy Lee posted a picture of his poodle noodle dick for free on Instagram and Twitter for the zero of you out there who haven’t seen it. Well, if you looked at that picture of Tommy Lee’s Brontosaurus neck peen, and thought, “I really wish I was paying $39.95 to see this,” your wish has come true. During a Mötley Crüe show in Las Vegas over the weekend, Tommy Lee announced to the audience that he’s joining OnlyFans by turning around, pulling down his chonies, and nearly presenting hole to show off the words “Only Fans” written on his ass cheeks. I read it as “Only Farts” and that’s pretty fitting. I mean, Tommy Lee charging almost $40 a month for his OnlyFans is a load of hot butt air. On the other hand, if Tommy Lee JONES charged $39.95 a month for his OnlyFans, that would be a steal! – NME

We almost missed out on Sheryl Lee Ralph’s performance in Abbott Elementary and her Emmys speech, which was so powerful it probably knocked the angels off of their angel feet in heaven, because she nearly quit acting 15 years ago if it wasn’t for a casting director who dropped some thought-fuel into her brain – Celebitchy

Prempetively pour one out for Showtime because Paramount+ is probably going to eat its streaming service and the two will become one – Pajiba

Nicki Minaj is suing a blogger for saying that she’s a cokehead (no “allegedly” needed, according to the blogger). And I have a feeling that coke is going to sue the blogger for defamation too for insinuating that it’s the reason why Nicki is always burping up bullshit – Jezebel

It feels like I type these words every other week but the Mexican Pizza is back at Taco Bell, again – SOW

Question of the day: Can queer people queerbait? Because Queer Eye STUNT QUEENS Antoni Porowski and Jonathan Van Ness are pretending that they fuck and they’re doing it to promote dog and cat vitamins – Gawker

Meanwhile, at Rock in Rio, Rita Ora let us know that she hates Kate Bush by viciously slaughtering and destroying every note of Running Up That Hill. Fergie’s National Anthem, who?! Rita sounds more like a cat in heat who is falling down that hill. And the best part of this tragedy is when Rita crawls on all fours at the end and throws a kissy face while thinking she absolutely killed it. She killed it alright. Just not in the way she thinks.


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