Machine Gun Kelly Says Megan Fox’s Engagement Ring Was Designed To Hurt If She Takes It Off

January 20, 2022 / Posted by:

I’m afraid your indifference toward Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox’s engagement has left them feeling a bit parched. Did you not see the ring? The “surprise” engagement? If you did, you did a piss poor job of acting impressed by their non-conventional, yet ultimately, mind-numbingly basic display. So here we are, having to be made aware of just how edgy, and for lack of a better word, rad, this couple is. MGK tried to tell us that ring was special in his Instagram post describing it as “two magnetic bands of thorns that draw together as two halves of the same soul forming the obscure heart that is our love,” but you squares missed the point. So MGK spoke to Vogue to clarify that those “thorns” are there “so if she tries to take it off, it hurts. Love is pain!” So go ahead, name a badder ass. I dare you!

MGK didn’t walk his narrow ass to Jared, OK? He went to Stephen. More specifically, he went to jewelry designer Stephen Webster’s “No Regrets Chapel”, which apparently is THEE place to go “when a couple (or indeed a polyamorous group), have decided that the time has arrived to express their commitment and love for one another.” According to Vogue:

It’s a thoroughbred Colombian emerald, with no treatment. It was just carved into the teardrop, straight out of the mine. And the diamond was directly from Stephen. The concept is that the ring can come apart to make two rings. When it’s together, it’s held in place by a magnet. So you see how it snaps together? And then it forms an obscure heart. And you see this right here? The bands are actually thorns. So if she tries to take it off, it hurts…

I think what MGK would like us to believe is that he designed this ring with actual barbs in the band that would rake Megan’s finger to the point of drawing blood should she remove it, but upon close inspection, it appears MGK just picked two of Stephen’s “Thorn Floating Solitaire” rings off the wall from the No Regrets collection available exclusively at the No Regrets Chapel which was “first established above our flagship store on Rodeo Drive.” Here’s a closer look at the ring, it’s hardly the iron maiden MGK is making it out to be. Shit, my rings hurt when I take them off too, but that’s just called afternoon bloat.

According to People, the ring is estimated to be worth between $300,000 and $500,000. As for the engagement itself, Us Weekly reports that Megan was “very surprised” by the timing of the proposal, but apparently not by the request that they perform a blood sacrifice to seal the deal.

Ready to wed! While Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly were eager to take the next step in their romance amid the rapper’s romantic proposal earlier this month, she was “very surprised” by the timing, a source exclusively reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly.

“She had no idea it was coming,” the insider tells Us of the Tennessee native, 35, and the Dirt star, 31. “The two performed a ritual involving their blood to symbolize the two of them becoming one.”

I have to laugh because we all know what really happened. Two minor celebrities went ring shopping on Rodeo Drive, got engaged at a luxury resort, and posted it on Instagram! That’s all! Until they tell us exactly what was involved in this bloodplay ritual, we’re just going to have to assume they put their boring old bedazzled pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.


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