Category: Legal Shit
Kanye West’s Lawyers Can’t Reach Him, So They Plan To Dump Him Via Newspaper Ad
Hitler-humper and newly(fake)wed husband, Kanye West, should be celebrating reaching his goal of pissing off his ex-wife Kim Kardashian by parading around his new bootleg-Brigitte Nielsen “wife,” Bianca Censori. But, Kanye must be so blissful he straight up forgot he’s involved in legal proceedings with just about anyone he’s ever dealt with–because he changed his phone number and never alerted his legal team. And since they claim to have no other way of reaching him, they’ve decided to take out ads in two Los Angeles newspapers to let him know they’re dumping his ass.
Elizabeth Holmes Will Be Sentenced Today, And She’s Asking For 18 Months On House Arrest While Prosecutors Want 15 Years In The Clink (UPDATE: She Got 11 Years)
UPDATE: Well, so much for that cushy 18-month house arrest sentence she wanted. Elizabeth Holmes was sentenced to 11.25 years in the chokey and three years of supervised release. She’ll start serving her sentence in April 2023.
Here’s the original post:
Today is Scammers Reckoning Day for Elizabeth Holmes, the disgraced former CEO of bogus health tech company Theranos. Back in January, 38-year-old Elizabeth was found guilty on 4 out of 11 charges of fraud, and today she will finally be sentenced. Prosecutors are seeking a 15-year prison term for Elizabeth and want her to pay $800 million in restitution to investors she scammed, including the Walton family of Walmart, Rupert Murdoch, and Walgreens. Elizabeth’s lawyers are asking for a touch less: a mere 18 months on house arrest. They’re presenting her as a devoted mother. Elizabeth is married to 29-year-old hotel heir Billy Evans, and they have one child, a 1-year-old son, and a second on the way (yep, she’s pregnant again!). Wait, making babies can help you stay out of prison? Jen Shah, it’s time to unfreeze those eggs! Continue reading
Blac Chyna Sent A Cease And Desist Letter To The TikToker Who Accused Her Of Holding Her Hostage And Trying To Sell Her Into Sex Trafficking
Demure flower, Blac Chyna, must have settled her legal fee kerfuffle with Kris Jenner because now she just had to fork out money to her hardworking lawyer to fire off a cease and desist letter to a TikToker named Ava Louise. And if that name sounds familiar, why yes, she is the demented troll who gained notoriety on the Dr. Phil Show for being an asshole, went viral for licking an airplane toilet seat during the height of COVID, and started the rumor that former billionaire/current inflammatory twat Kanye West hooked up with Jeffree Star. Sigh. But, all of that aside, Ava recently posted the tale of her experience at Blac Chyna’s house, in which she alleged that Chyna held her hostage for six hours and was preparing to sell her into sex trafficking. Chyna vehemently denies the allegations and is threatening legal action.
A Judge Decided That Britney Spears Does Not Have To Sit For A Deposition With Jamie Spears’ Lawyer
Britney Spears seems to be having one Lucky July: she dipped her bare foot back into music when she shared herself low-yodeling …Baby One More Time in front of her laundry room and recorded a remake of Tiny Dancer with Elton John that’s soon-to-be released, AND she’s having score after score in court. A judge ruled earlier this month that Jamie Spears will have to answer to allegations of conservatorship abuse in a deposition with Britney’s lawyer that he’s been trying to dodge. Now, a judge has ruled that Britney, seen here modeling what I would assume is her finest court-ture, will not have to be deposed by Jamie’s lawyer despite Jamie riding hard for it.
A Pregnant Texas Woman Is Fighting An HOV Lane Ticket By Saying Her Fetus Counts As A Passenger
Since the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe vs. Wade, some celebs have spoken out or pledged to help in the fight for a woman’s right to choose. Lizzo pledged $1 million to Planned Parenthood, Jodie Sweetin was roughed up by police during a pro-choice protest, both Billy Joe Armstrong and Halsey have been vocal about the cause at their concerts, and Howard Stern threatened to run for president–which should terrify us all into getting our asses in line. But while it’s great that celebs are using their large platforms for the cause, a pregnant woman named Brandy Bottone is making some waves by calling Texas on their shit. Since Texas has defined a fetus/unborn baby as a “person” in its penal code, Brandy wasn’t having it when she got pulled over riding in the carpool lane (meant for at least two people) seemingly solo. She got a ticket for the violation but is going to fight it in court since according to Texas’ own short-sighted language, her fetus could count as her passenger.
Jen Shah Of “Real Housewives Of Salt Lake City” Pled Guilty In Her Federal Fraud Case
In a shocking twist, Jen Shah has pled guilty to massive fraud! 48-year-old Jen of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City appeared in a federal court in Manhattan this morning for a surprise hearing, switching her previous “not guilty” plea to “GUILTY”. Wow. I really didn’t see that coming. I mean, the woman’s guiltier than a Disney villain (see: her reunion look homage to Yzma from The Emperor’s New Groove in the header pic), but, since her arrest last March, she’s adamantly proclaimed her innocence. Hell, she was selling Not Guilty and #FreeJenShah merch on Instagram! I figured she’d keep that shit up during her trial, which was scheduled for July 18. But perhaps the prospect of facing 50 years in prison scared her, or she ran out of money to pay her lawyers, or she finally realized the feds’ case was too damning. Especially since her former assistant/partner in grift, Stuart Smith, pled guilty last year. Whatever the reason, Jen’s new plea agreement calls for just 11 to 14 years behind bars and restitution of up to $9.5 million. Shine on, you crazy scam queen.