Howard Stern Is Seriously Considering Running For President In 2024
If you think the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, effectively stripping millions of Americans of the fundamental human right to decide their own fate, is terrifying, infuriating, and overwhelming for the poorest and most marginalized among us, imagine how hard it must be to be a rich and famous men of this country! As of yet, poor people have been presented with two options — vote or die. But because of their wealth and notoriety, the options are practically endless for America’s richest men. Yesterday we learned that a fed-up Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong announced his intention to renounce his citizenship and move his family to the U.K. And on Monday’s Howard Stern Show, Howard Stern tells us that our best option for restoring reproductive freedom in America is for him to run for president. And his campaign slogan? Just a suggestion but how about — Vote for Me or Die, Bitches! What Else Are You Gonna do? Move to Fucking England? With what Money, You Broke Ass Sluts? I dunno, just throwing it out there. It’s no I Like Ike, but it’s got a nice ring to it, don’t you think?
The good news about yet another unqualified celebrity deciding it would be neat to be in charge of everything, is that, unlike former president Donald Trump, Howard actually has some prior experience running for political office. According to The Hill, Howard ran as a libertarian in the 1994 New York gubernatorial race before dropping out when the state wanted him to disclose his personal finances. So there’s no questioning his bone fides. Howard knows that to get anything done in Washington, one must be able to reach across the aisle and just start shanking anyone that gets in his way with his rock-hard Executive Pen. The Hill reports:
Howard Stern is ripping the Supreme Court’s decision striking down Roe v. Wade, saying the ruling might spur him to launch a White House bid.
“I’m actually going to probably have to run for president now,” the SiriusXM host told “Howard Stern Show” listeners on Monday.
The show marked Stern’s first public comments about Friday’s Supreme Court decision, which overturned the 1973 landmark ruling that had provided a constitutional right to abortion.
Stern, who’s long railed against the United States’ Electoral College system, said of conservative Supreme Court Justices Amy Coney Barrett, Brett Kavanaugh and Neil Gorsuch: “These appointed judges by [former President] Trump were appointed by a president who lost the popular vote by 3 million votes. This is where we get into trouble.”
I’m with you so far Howard, but when does the carnage begin? If you’re posing yourself as an alternative to the do-nothing Democrats in power, how can YOU prevent our failed state from descending further into a totalitarian dictatorship? Well, we needn’t fret. Howard’s got it all figured out.
If he were to run for office, the 68-year-old radio pro said, “I am going to do the very simple thing that’ll set the country straight: one vote, one person. No more Electoral College. I’m getting rid of it.”
“The problem with most presidents is they have too big of an agenda. The only agenda I would have is to make the country fair again,” Stern said.
“The other thing is, if I do run for president — and I’m not fucking around, I’m really thinking about it — because the only other thing I’m going to do is appoint five more Supreme Court justices,” Stern said.
After co-host Robin Quivers questioned whether Stern could make such a change, he replied with a slight chuckle, “I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing exactly.”
“I’m not afraid to do it. As soon as I become president, you’re gonna get five new Supreme Court justices that are going to overturn all this bullshit.”
Easy peasy! Howard’s got my vote. I had no idea the president could just do that. I wish someone had told Joe Biden this before they rolled out his campaign slogan for 2024 – Welp. What Are Ya Gonna Do? #Binden/CornPop 2024