Category: Kylie Jenner
As Far As Forbes Is Concerned, Kylie Jenner Is No Longer A Billionaire And Probably Never Was
Well guys, I’m devastated to report that everything we thought we knew about Kylie Jenner was a lie. While the information I’m about to impart to you may SHOCK YOU TO YOUR CORE, if we are to move forward together, it is important that we do so with clear-headed knowledge and the unvarnished truth. Here we go. Kylie Jenner is not, I repeat not, a billionaire. Don’t take my repetition to mean she’s not not a billionaire like Lana Del Rey is not not a feminist. Kylie is not not not a billionaire. According to Forbes, the very outlet responsible for fabricating this appalling fallacy, Kylie tricked them! I’ll give you a moment to recover before we move forward into uncharted territory.
Drake Played A Track Where He Called Kylie Jenner A “Side Piece” On Instagram Live
People are so starved for novel entertainment these days that scores of them logged onto Instagram Live last night to watch a grainy Drake bop his big ass head over some dusty beats he had stored in the back of his closet. And not even his primary closet, the closet in his 16th tackiest guest room. According to Complex, Drake “accidentally” (emphasis mine) played a track that was a previously unreleased collaboration with Future in which he raps “Kylie Jenner that’s a side piece” and that he’s got “20 motherfucking Kylies.” As charming and fitting a sentiment as that is, in the cold hard light of day, Drake found the need to say oopsie and blamed the DJ.
Kendall Jenner Says That She’s In Control Of Where She Throws Her Cooch In Response To Being Passed Around By The NBA
Kendall Jenner has dated enough NBA players to fill a bench with a starting line-up and a couple of subs. And someone on social media said she’s been passed around by the NBA, and Kendall fired back that she’s not the NBA’s go-to girlfriend.
Rob Kardashian Claims Blac Chyna Once Pointed A Gun At Him
And now for a wholesome (“You spent famewhoresome wrong” – everyone) tale from an extremely functional family.
Seriously though, the hands-down messiest couple in recent memory is at it again, throwing around accusations in court while a child sits in the middle. Rob Kardashian, sock designer to the stars, is claiming in court papers that his ex-fiancée, Blac Chyna is a crazed abuser.
Kylie Jenner Is Once Again Named By Forbes As The World’s Youngest “Self-Made” Billionaire
I guess Forbes forgot about every single suspicious eyebrow that was raised last year when they named Kylie Jenner, child of wealth and fame, the world’s youngest self-made billionaire. It was the day we all realized the sad truth that not one poor soul at Forbes had access to a dictionary. After first defending the choice, Kylie came around and acknowledged that she’s made her own money, but isn’t exactly self-made. But Forbes still put her at the top again of this year’s list of the world’s youngest billionaires.
Kylie Jenner Threw Daughter Stormi An Over The Top 2nd Birthday Party
I totally remember my 2nd birthday party. The presents, the cake, the semi-truck-sized inflatable gaping maw made in my own image welcoming my guests into a hellscape from which escape is anything but guaranteed. I remember it all like it was yesterday. The thing is, if you’re not spending the equivalent of a small nation’s GDP on your child’s 2nd birthday, they’re just gonna forget it. Kylie Jenner knows this better than anybody. That’s why she risked exponentially increasing daughter Stormi Webster’s future therapy bills on a birthday bash for the ages (well, for the age of 2).