Big news outta Calabasas (just change the spelling to Kalabasas, already)! Sock icon Rob Kardashian, Kris Jenner’s only male spawn, is returning to Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Apart from the odd cameo, he hasn’t appeared regularly since 2017. 33-year-old Rob’s last couple of seasons on the show followed his weight gain, depression, and shitty relationship with Blac Chyna, which, uh, hasn’t got any less shitty.
A slimmer Rob was recently spotted at sister Khloe Karadashian’s birthday party of horrors. I guess he’s finally lost enough fat for Pimp Mama Kris to let him back on her show. Also, Kourtney Kardashian left an open spot after she realized appearing on reality TV miiiiiiiight be toxic. Continue reading
And now for a wholesome (“You spent famewhoresome wrong” – everyone) tale from an extremely functional family.
Seriously though, the hands-down messiest couple in recent memory is at it again, throwing around accusations in court while a child sits in the middle. Rob Kardashian, sock designer to the stars, is claiming in court papers that his ex-fiancée, Blac Chyna is a crazed abuser.
Blac Chyna Called Child Services On Rob Kardashian After Their Daughter Dream Got Burned Twice While In His Care
And yes, she’s SHOCKED by all of this. Or that’s just her regular expression.
Of course the least-successful Kardashian, Rob Kardashian, and Harvard graduate, Blac Chyna, are continuing to slap at one another over the care of their 3-year-old daughter Dream. It seems Dream was burned while with Rob and you better believe Chyna has decided to use it to attack him for full custody. Honestly, I’m shocked that Dream hasn’t been burned before, because I’m sure the poor child’s skin starts smoking when Kris Jenner holds her with those flaming hot demon klaws.
Not that long ago, the legendary Nina Bo’nina Brown uttered the words, “I shoulda been Blac Chyna.” Rob Kardashian recently filed the type of legal documents that would have you believing he’d feel more comfortable leaving his daughter Dream with Nina in Blac Chyna drag than Blac Chyna herself. Rob has accused Chyna of being violent and a drunk, and that he should be Dream’s primary guardian. Sources close to Chyna have spoken to TMZ about Rob’s allegations, and they claim Chyna has called bullshit on Rob’s alleged story.
When we last left the custody fight titled (in the voice of Martin Luther King Jr.) “I Want A Dream!” (may MLK Jr. slap me down for that one), Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna put down their shanks and agreed on custody and child support with both of them sharing 50/50 custody of their 3-year-old daughter Dream and Rob no longer having to pay Chyna $20,000 a month in support. Since this custody battle involved the messiest parties since the Montagues and Capulets (you know Romeo and Juliet’s custody fight would’ve been next level, they’re drama queens), it obviously wasn’t over. Rob is now claiming that right after Chyna put down her shank, she picked up a bottle of Hennessy as usual and chugged it like it was filled with the secret to relevancy while motioning to Dream with her hand to fetch her another bottle. TMZ says that Rob has filed documents asking to be Dream’s primary guardian, because Chyna’s house is The Drunk Cokehead’s Republic of Chyna.
Blac Chyna Is Mad At Rob Kardashian For Not Letting Their Child Make An Appearance On Her Reality Show
The Kardashian Koven is dead serious about not letting Blac Chyna get any money off the Kardashian name, and that seems to include her own child, Dream Kardashian. Not only does Rob Kardashian not have to pay Blac Chyna anymore money for child support, the Kardashians are making it clear to Chyna that making money off of Dream is off limits too. Dream Kardashian is under the Kardashian banner and so if anybody is going to profit off of her, it’s going to be Pimp Mama Kris.