As Far As Forbes Is Concerned, Kylie Jenner Is No Longer A Billionaire And Probably Never Was

May 29, 2020 / Posted by:

Well guys, I’m devastated to report that everything we thought we knew about Kylie Jenner was a lie. While the information I’m about to impart to you may SHOCK YOU TO YOUR CORE, if we are to move forward together, it is important that we do so with clear-headed knowledge and the unvarnished truth. Here we go. Kylie Jenner is not, I repeat not, a billionaire. Don’t take my repetition to mean she’s not not a billionaire like Lana Del Rey is not not a feminist. Kylie is not not not a billionaire. According to Forbes, the very outlet responsible for fabricating this appalling fallacy, Kylie tricked them! I’ll give you a moment to recover before we move forward into uncharted territory.

In a lengthy article titled Inside Kylie Jenner’s Web of Lies—And Why She’s No Longer A Billionaire, Forbes accuses Kylie and “her shrewd motherKris Jenner, of falsely reporting the revenue of Kylie Cosmetics through a series of “white lies, omissions and outright fabrications,” even going so far as to accuse them of submitting falsified tax documents. Yes, Forbes is saltier than the dead sea in a drought year.

Kylie first made history as the “world’s youngest self-made billionaire,” a proclamation Forbes was presumably able to make with a straight face, in 2019 after selling 51% of Kylie Cosmetics to Coty for $600 million. And Forbes let her keep her crown for 2020 by giving her the same designation back in April. But now, with coronavirus taking a toll on cosmetics company stock prices, I guess they’ve just decided, you know what, fuck The Jenners actually.

Of course white lies, omissions and outright fabrications are to be expected from the family that perfected—then monetized—the concept of “famous for being famous.” But, similar to Donald Trump’s decades-long obsession with his net worth, the unusual lengths to which the Jenners have been willing to go—including inviting Forbes into their mansions and CPA’s offices, and even creating tax returns that were likely forged—reveals just how desperate some of the ultra-rich are to look even richer.

Based on this new information—plus the impact of COVID-19 on beauty stocks and consumer spending—Forbes now thinks that Kylie Jenner, even after pocketing an estimated $340 million after tax from the sale, is not a billionaire.

Forbes is big mad at the Kardashians, all of them, for trying to grade-grub their way up their wealth index. And they went all the way in on Kylie, even going so far as to suggest that Kylie’s brand only gained popularity because a lie she told in 2015 about not getting lip fillers blew up in her face (which I hear can happen if you inject too many ccs).

As with other Kardashian ventures, Kylie’s business began as a way to cash in on a minor scandal. The youngest of the family, she spent more than a year denying tabloid speculation that she was using lip filler injections before eventually finally fessing up to it in May 2015. Far from embarrassed about being caught in a lie, she—and her shrewd mother, Kris—seized it as a marketing opportunity.

That was the advent of the “lip kit” that put Kylie Cosmetics on the map. But Fobes thinks that even those sales numbers were falsely reported, and that the Kardashians all used those inflated numbers as fuel for a campaign to get Forbes to notice Kylie.

A few months after her sister Kim Kardashian West scored a Forbes cover in July 2016, Jenner publicists began a campaign to “get a Forbes cover for Kylie.” Revenues were $400 million over the business’ first 18 months, they said, with a personal take-home of $250 million for Kylie. Pressed for proof, they opened up their books. During meetings at Kris Jenner’s palatial Hidden Hills, Calif. estate and the family accountant’s office nearby, Forbes was shown tax returns detailing $307 million in 2016 revenues and personal income of more than $110 million for Kylie that year.

I know I’m probably leaving out a lot of relevant financial nuance, but I don’t think any of us really care so you’ll forgive me if I focus on Forbe’s delectable reads such as suggesting that Coty was tricked into buying a lemon.

The business was never that big to begin with, and the Jenners have lied about it every year since 2016—including having their accountant draft tax returns with false numbers—to help juice Forbes’ estimates of Kylie’s earnings and net worth. While we can’t prove that those documents were fake (though it’s likely), it’s clear that Kylie’s camp has been lying.

Kylie’s lawyer claimed Forbes’ exposé is full of lies and that she never forged her tax returns. Kylie also called Forbes liars and acted unbothered even though she kept tweeting about it:

Forbes says it now estimates Kylie’s net worth to be “just under $900 million, despite the headlines surrounding the Coty deal that seemed to confirm her billionaire status.” Please, Forbes, please do Kanye West next. In fact, do them all. As you just proved, your list is trash!

Pic: Instagram

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