Category: Kanye West
Kanye West And His “Mystery Blonde” Are “Married”
Mystery blonde solved! And she’s not even a real blonde if you can believe it. Or a lawyer (but she might have had a hand in designing Kanye’s Yeezy phone; she helps out where she can). TMZ reports that the woman Kanye West has been spotted with at the Waldorf Astoria in L.A. is Bianca Censoria, a former Yeezy architectural designer from Austria Australia. And her ass looks just like Kim Kardashian’s (did a decade ago). Also, her face. Especially since she and Kim apparently share the same sadistic colorist. However, unlike Kim, Bianca thought it would be a good idea to marry Kanye West in this, The Year of Our Lord, 2023.
Julia Fox Talked A Little About Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, And Drake With Andy Cohen
Andy Cohen’s been super busy being a prolific maestro of mess lately, so it should come as no surprise that during last night’s episode of Watch What Happens Live, he was able to extract several pieces of intriguing information from his guest, UNCUH JAM/worrisome alley cat, Julia Fox. Over the span of 30 minutes, Julia–who has become my modern-day Forrest Gump on account of the way she bafflingly weasels her way into random situations–said that she hasn’t kept in contact with Kanye West since their monthlong fling ended, and he probably never even knew her full name. She also shared that she hasn’t spoken to her pogo sister, Kim Kardashian, about David Duke 2.0, despite crossing paths with her. She rounded out her half-hour of dropping nuggets by describing her best celebrity date, later letting it slip that it might’ve been with Drake.
Kim Kardashian Opened Up About Co-Parenting With Kanye West And Her Delayed Response To The Balenciaga Controversy
Even though disgraced former-billionaire/current megalomaniac, Kanye West, allegedly forks over $200,000 a month in child support, Kim Kardashian still got off her fucking ass and headed to her haunted mausoleum business offices (not to be confused with her haunted mausoleum residence) to guest on the Angie Martinez IRL podcast. And in between dropping shocking nuggets like she makes her employees dress in a specific color each day; she, her mom, and her sisters have “deep” conversations about current events at the salad table; and that interns get paid sometimes; she talked about how she shields her kids from the insanity that is co-parenting with Kanye and the backlash she received from waiting to rebuke Balenciaga’s highly-controversial pedophilia-tinged campaign.
Professional Troll Milo Yiannopoulous Reportedly Invoiced Kanye West For $116,000 After Getting Fired From His Presidential Campaign
2024 Presidential hopeful Kanye West may be mentally unhinged, but that never stopped the previous administration from trying to rebrand the White House as the Caucasian Home For The Criminally Insane. However, Kanye’s primary obstacle isn’t the color of his skin, rather, it’s the shallowness of his pockets and the limits of his own imagination. TMZ reports that Kanye imagined his fledgling campaign staff would work for free, however, in reality, Milo Yiannopoulous, one of Kanye’s chief leeches, has invoiced him for $116,000 after getting fired (and/or quitting, depending on who you ask) this week. And here I thought my salad days of political reporting ended in a parking lot in front of Four Seasons Total Landscaping. Suck it, boomers! There’s a new generation of charlatans, hucksters, and utterly deranged lunatics with broken brains ready to throw it all away for a shot at ruining things for the rest of us. USA! USA!
George Clooney Was Doubly Honored At The Kennedy Center Honors When Julia Roberts Came Wearing His Face
Last night some of the biggest stars in Hollywood gathered in New York City to rub elbows with the Washington elite at the 45th annual Kennedy Center Honors. Due to the pandemic and former president Donald Trump’s boycott of the awards, this is the first big gala in five years and the stars came dressed to impress. This year’s honorees included Gladys Knight and all four of the Irish Pips, sometimes referred to as U2, Christian pop singer Amy Grant, Cuban American composer-conductor Tania León (not to be confused with Lydia Tár, totally different lady), and Nespresso dude George Clooney. There were a couple of surprises at the ceremony. For one, Sacha Baron Cohen showed up in character as Borat even though I thought we had decided as a group after 2020’s presidential election that satire was dead. Also, there was Emma Roberts’ aunt, actress Julia Roberts, who is, apparently, strangely obsessed with George Clooney.
Elon Musk Suspended Kanye West From Twitter After His Unhinged Day Of Antisemitism
After Kanye West appeared in a gimp mask on Alex Jones’s InfoWars yesterday and did the impossible by making Alex look like the most sensible person in the room for once when he outright admitted that he likes Hitler and declared that it’s time to stop dissing Nazis, Kanye then moved his shockingly blatant antisemitism and nearly constant ranting to Twitter. In his manic tweeting, Ye also defended Balenciaga, claimed that he “caught” Kim Kardashian with NBA player Chris Paul, and shared a pic of a shirtless Elon Musk, obviously meant to poke fun at his physique. Elon ultimately suspended Ye’s account (that he’s only had back since October), later clarifying it was because of the antisemitic stuff, not because of having his shirtless balls busted.