John Fetterman Enlisted Snooki To Troll Dr. Oz Over His Questionable Pennsylvania Residency In Their Race For A Senate Seat
Most people (besides your 74-year-old aunt Linda) thought it was fantastic news when Dr. Mehmet Oz decided to end his problematic The Dr. Oz Show, where he instructed his loyal viewers on the best ways to shit their brains out, take supplements to lose 18 pounds in two weeks, and reverse the aging process of their genitals. At that point it didn’t really matter that the reason for the cancellation was because he was a senate hopeful. Because this fool wouldn’t make it very far, right? Wrong–with Donald Trump’s endorsement and his opponent’s concession, Dr. Oz has emerged as Pennsylvania’s Republican candidate for senate–which is even more mystifying because Oz has spent most of his life as a resident of Nicole “Snooki” LaValle’s New Jersey. Pennsylvania’s Democratic candidate for senate and actual Pennsylvania resident/current lieutenant governor/hoodie enthusiast, John Fetterman, has been taking it easy recovering from a stroke that he suffered in May, but has continued to use his time and energy trolling Dr. Oz’s carpetbagging shitshow. Yesterday, John delivered his pièce de résistance–enlisting Snooki to highlight Dr. Oz’s duplicitous ways.
When 50 Cent first burst onto the scene in the early 2000s, he was probably most known as a hardened rapper who’d endured several gunshot wounds and lived the fast life. Today, he’s more known for claiming bankruptcy while posing with stacks of money, saying people owe him money, collecting that money, trolling other famous people (and even his own son), and igniting feuds–usually by shooting off his fast Instagram fingers. If Statler & Waldorf and Regina George had a miserly, extra-bitchy lovechild, it would be 50 Cent. In his most recent example of “pay attention to me,” he poked fun at some of Madonna’s photos again, after apologizing to her for the same behavior just a few months ago.
Lil Nas X’s video for Montero (Call Me By Your Name) has gotten all the religious zealots and pearl-clutching hypocritical hoes MADDD! And then he really got their blood boiling by releasing a $1,018 pair of modified Nike Air Max 97s called Satan Shoes that reportedly contains a drop of human blood in its soles. All 666 pairs of those Satan Shoes sold out in under a minute. As soon as I heard this, I grabbed my popcorn, turned my phone off, and loomed over Twitter just awaiting all the backlash. And it came quick. Not only did Lil Nas engage in a Twitter battle with the Governor of South Dakota, but the company that makes the Satan Shoes, MSCHF, is now being sued by Nike.
#RIPJKRowling trended on Twitter today, and not because she actually died. That hashtag trended after Twitter found out that her latest book is about a cis man who crossdresses when killing women. I know, such a completely original plot, and since everyone knows how JK (which for me, stands for Jesus KanYouStop) feels about trans people, this feels like she’s spewing out some anti-trans symbolic fuckery. So, no, JK isn’t dead, she’s just killing the nerves of many again.
It’s an understatement to say that 2020 is the messiest year on record. Like, we’ve got Drag Race contestants having to walk back statements they previously made about the coronavirus being a hoax, Kanye West is working for The Gap again, and TikTok teens are fucking with the RSVP numbers at Trump rallies. And that’s on top of the murder hornets and COVID-19 and everything else that has made the past 6 months feel like 6 years. But there’s one thing that happened recently that might have brought back feelings of nostalgia and familiar comfort for some. And that’s that Sacha Baron Cohen crashed an event in disguise, just to embarrass and anger some right-wing Americans.
Gloria Allred Is Using A School Bus To Shame Prince Andrew Into Talking To The FBI About Jeffrey Epstein
Gloria Allred is representing five victims in the Jeffrey Epstein case. Before his
staged suicide, Jeffrey was being re-examined for his role in trafficking underage girls at sex parties where he allegedly forced his victims to have sex with rich and powerful buddies. One of those buddies was Prince Andrew, who stepped down as a working royal after giving a train wreck of an interview about his involvement with Epstein and Virginia Giuffre’s accusation that she was forced to have sex with him. And now lawyer Gloria Allred is coming for Andrew by hiring a school bus to drive around London to shame him.