It’s the end of an era. The party is no longer here. The pickle jar lid will no longer be covered in teeny-tiny self-tanner handprints. Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi has announced that she is officially submitting her notice of retirement from Jersey Shore: Family Vacation. The quack quack quack of the duck phone will be turned off in observation of a moment of silence.
People on social media tried to mom shame Snooki for drinking some Ron-Ron juice while she’s breastfeeding her 2-month-old son Angelo. Snooki was not interested in being dragged by some internet loserbags who probably never even got into a fist fight at the T-shirt shop or arrested for trying to find a beach, so she clapped back and told them to let a mess live.
Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi has given birth once more. The Jersey Shore-er and her husband, Jionni LaValle, welcomed a new baby boy into their mad house early this morning and they already gave the exclusive to People. What a scoop! Now there are three human children that Snooki is responsible for. Luckily, she actually seems like the most responsible of the Jersey Shore cast. But that’s not saying much.
We all know Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino was hiding coin (lots of coin) from Uncle Sam, and Uncle Sam is that bitch who reads your phone and goes through your mail when you sleep. It didn’t take the government long to charge Mike with tax fraud, and he went to the slammer in January. We haven’t heard much from The Sitch since then, but luckily he’s on a reality show with major blabbermouths. Snooki was interviewed recently and gave an update on Mike. Surprisingly, he’s viewing prison like a stay at Club Med.
Obviously nothing can ever top the legendary sequinned charisma of Lil’ Kim’s purple nipple cover at the 1999 MTV VMA’s, but that’s not nearly a good enough excuse for people not to try. An iconic look is like rolling dice; you might wear something that ends up in one of those Best Looks of ALL TIME galleries for the rest of the internet’s existence, or you might be just wearing clothing. Cardi B could have shocked eyes by showing up in big hair, a dramatic cape, and no pants, but – yawn – been there, done that. Instead, Cardi B made her first red carpet appearance since giving birth last month in a purple gown by Nicolas Jebran and a pussycat wig. Cardi is giving me eccentric Beverly Hills housewife at a charity gala trying to steal the spotlight from her rival Bitsy Saint Claire. Wait a second – rich, attention-getting, short dark hair, daughter’s name spelled with an unnecessary K? Kris Jenner must be so flattered right now.
Like covers of “Imagine,” that “Melrose Place” reboot and fanny packs, sometimes it’s best to just let the original speak for itself…and never try to revive it. So when word got out that the same production team behind Jersey Shore were heading to the Florida Panhandle to revive it in the form of Floribama Shore, some people thought that might not work. Especially the original Jersey Shore wrecks cast. Continue reading