Category: John Fetterman
GO BACK TO NEW JERSEY! Dr. Oz Defeated By John Fetterman In Pennsylvania Senate Race
Dr. Mehmet Oz gave up his talk show and moved from New Jersey to Pennsylvania all so that he could run for the Republican Senate seat as a Trump-supporting Republican. During his talk show days, Dr. Oz was obsessed with analyzing shit, but he was blind to the massive shit show that was his campaign, which featured him giving a speech near Hitler’s car and facing accusations that his past scientific experiments took the lives of hundreds of dogs. Thankfully, Oz’s whole campaign has been tossed into the toilet where it belongs because he lost. NBC News says that once all the votes are counted, Oz’s opponent, Democrat John Fetterman is projected to win the Senate seat in Pennsylvania. Well, you know what, this may (PLEASE GOD!) be the end of Dr. Oz’s political aspirations, but at least he can look forward to Snooki welcoming him back to his home with a good, old-fashioned New Jersey-style welcome!
Oprah Endorsed Dr. Oz’s Opponent For A Pennsylvania Senate Seat, John Fetterman, And Many Other Democrats In Close State Races
Oprah Winfrey decided it was high time to make an attempt at counterbalancing the scourge she unleashed on society by bestowing a talk show upon Dr. Mehmet Oz, who finally just took his poop diagrams and garcinia cambogia and fucked off of our screens in January after a long 13 seasons of quackery on The Dr. Oz Show. Unfortunately, that allowed him to pivot to politics, as he’s now running as a Donald Trump-backed Republican for a Pennsylvania senate seat–though whether or not he actually lives in Pennsylvania is questionable (just ask Snooki). With election day coming up in just a few days, Oprah endorsed expert Oz-troller and current Pennsylvania Lieutenant Governor, John Fetterman, in PA’s neck-and-neck race for a senate seat over Oz, a former surgeon who’s relentlessly criticized John’s ability to handle the duties of office after recently suffering a stroke. She also voiced her support for several other Democrats running in tight races in key states hoping to maintain their slender Senate majority.
John Fetterman Enlisted Snooki To Troll Dr. Oz Over His Questionable Pennsylvania Residency In Their Race For A Senate Seat
Most people (besides your 74-year-old aunt Linda) thought it was fantastic news when Dr. Mehmet Oz decided to end his problematic The Dr. Oz Show, where he instructed his loyal viewers on the best ways to shit their brains out, take supplements to lose 18 pounds in two weeks, and reverse the aging process of their genitals. At that point it didn’t really matter that the reason for the cancellation was because he was a senate hopeful. Because this fool wouldn’t make it very far, right? Wrong–with Donald Trump’s endorsement and his opponent’s concession, Dr. Oz has emerged as Pennsylvania’s Republican candidate for senate–which is even more mystifying because Oz has spent most of his life as a resident of Nicole “Snooki” LaValle’s New Jersey. Pennsylvania’s Democratic candidate for senate and actual Pennsylvania resident/current lieutenant governor/hoodie enthusiast, John Fetterman, has been taking it easy recovering from a stroke that he suffered in May, but has continued to use his time and energy trolling Dr. Oz’s carpetbagging shitshow. Yesterday, John delivered his pièce de résistance–enlisting Snooki to highlight Dr. Oz’s duplicitous ways.