To some, wellness means caring for your mind, body, and soul and approaching things with a balanced mindset. To others, it means an opportunity to lord over those peons who gorge on the recommended intake of 2000 calories a day and don’t have a team of on-call skincare specialists! Gwyneth Paltrow recently shared the secret to how she manages to stay so thin, pleasant and grounded: bone broth and coffee. Unfortunately, GOOP naysayers came for her, saying ludicrous things like “you can’t stay alive just eating broth” and “this is giving eating disorder.” Gwyneth shot back at haters saying to get the rectal ozone stick out of their asses because, ACTUALLY, she eats human food sometimes!
On The Art of Being Well with Dr. Will Cole podcast, Gwyneth explained her “wellness routine,” which included having nothing but coffee until noon, bone broth for lunch, “one hour of movement a day,” and a paleo meal for dinner. Certain folks such as dietitians and Meghan McCain (?) were unimpressed with a routine that sounded more like hellness than wellness. Goopy caught enough flak for her choice of which bone to soup that she had to set the record straight. via People:
“I think it’s important for everybody to know that I was doing a podcast with my doctor. So, this is a person I’ve been working with for over two years now to deal with some chronic stuff,” she said in an Instagram video.
The Academy Award winner explained, “I have long COVID, and the way it manifests for me is very high levels of inflammation over time. So, I’ve been working with Dr. Cole to really focus on foods that aren’t inflammatory.
Well, when it comes to her experience with dealing with long COVID, her “remedies” have already been summarily blasted, so who’s to know! Goopy went on to say that the advice is not meant for anyone else. It’s simply what’s worked for her. In the meantime, visit her website to buy from a wide selection of expensive snake oils that are guaranteed transform* your entire life! (*note: GOOP is not liable for any crotch damage you may experience.)
The actress clarified, “This is not to say I eat this way all day, every day. And by the way, I eat far more than bone broth and vegetables. I eat full meals, and I also have a lot of days of eating whatever I want. You know, eating french fries and whatever. My baseline really has been to try to be healthy and eat foods that will really calm the system down.”
If calming the system down means to actively gag when drinking $200 detox teas, then I guess she’s doing it. I like how vague Gwyneth is about her eating habits in this clarification. She even threw in “french fries” to appeal to show us plebs us that she knows what junk food is! Nepo babies can be so down-to-earth. You can watch her defense here:
#GwynethPaltrow defends her wellness tips dubbed a ‘starvation’ diet
Look, you can eat as much air as you like, Goopy, but please stop trying to convince us that sucking down bone broth every day is some sort of hearty, aspirational meal. Maybe for a Victorian street urchin in 1838, but not a normal person in 2023!