Category: Eat It

Dakota Johnson Joked About Those Armie Hammer Cannibal Allegations At The Sundance Film Festival

January 20, 2023 / Posted by:

Back in 2021, Dakota Johnson did an interview and graciously shared with us her opinion on “cancel culture.” 33-year-old Dakota admitted that she felt bad for former controversial co-stars like Johnny Depp (Black Mass)Shia LaBeouf (The Peanut Butter Falcon), and Armie Hammer (2019’s Wounds and The Social Network). She said she’d never experienced abuse from any of these men (then they’re INNOCENT!), and she felt sad “for the loss of great artists.” Yeeeah. Okaaaay. Huuuuh. Anywho, it’s more than a year later, and it sounds like Dakota’s sadness has ceased, and she’s finally moved on to the “joking about Armie Hammer being a cannibal” stage of her grief.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Man Who Allegedly Got Kicked Out Of A Buffet For Eating Too Much

November 20, 2021 / Posted by:

In arguably one of the most relatable stories ever reported, a man was recently BANNED from an all-you-can-eat buffet for eating too much of their food! Who among us hasn’t taken advantage of the bounties that buffets provide? This is could potentially go down as history’s greatest injustice! Mr. Kang, a Chinese food live-streamer, accused a local grill buffet of blacklisting him for eating what some may consider more than his fair share. Unfortunately for the buffet, Mr. Kang’s talking mouth is just as big as his eating mouth and he made this “discriminatory” incident a viral sensation.

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Open Post: Hosted By Fat Bear Week 2020

September 29, 2020 / Posted by:

It’s time to crown 2020’s Fat Bear Week Champion! But wait, it’s not what you think! This a contest for the actual beefiest brown bear (Ursus arctos). A giant “phew” from the LGBTQIA+ population – they don’t need a superspreader event (a la the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally) taking out the heaviest half of their husky, hairy hunks!

Fat Bear Week is an annual tournament hosted by the National Park Service. The contest celebrates brown bears packing on the pounds in prep for winter hibernation (in which they’ll lose one-third of their body weight). Every summer the chubsters gorge themselves on salmon from Brooks River at Katmai National Park in Alaska, and people vote for their favorite fattie. Last year’s champion, 435 Holly (the luscious lady pictured above) is back to defend her 2019 title.

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Nathan’s Annual 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Will Go On Without An Audience

June 16, 2020 / Posted by:

We all know the saying, the show must go on, but maybe, sometimes, it’s OK if it doesn’t. Like for example, if said show necessitates the placement of barf buckets in multiple locations and involves the participants unhinging their jaws to gobble down as many frankfurters as possible during a time when the nation is staring down the barrel of a second wave of a global pandemic in which a potentially deadly virus is spread through saliva. Maybe it’s okay to cancel it. Just this one time (if not cancelled in perpetuity because it’s absurd and disgusting to me personally). But nah.

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