Gwyneth Paltrow Is A Whole Dollar Richer After A Jury Declares She’s Not Liable In Utah Ski Crash Case

March 30, 2023 / Posted by:

The people of Park City, Utah, better triple mask up unless they want to choke on the massive amounts of snooty smug wafting off Gwyneth Paltrow today. Because Goopy was victorious in her hit-and-run ski accident case. 50-year-old Gwyneth may not have destroyed 76-year-old retired optometrist Dr. Terry Sanderson on the slopes, but she destroyed him in court. The jury ruled that Terry was 100% at fault for the crash. Terry was originally suing Gwyneth for $3.1 million in damages, but that case was dismissed. So he re-filed, asking for $300,000 in damages instead. Gwyneth countersued for $1 in damages plus attorney fees, and that’s what the jury awarded her in court. Goopy’s traveling team of butlers better pull out her best bottle of sparkling bone broth because she’s partying tonight! I bet she’ll even have two glasses. Go wild, Goopy!

The 8-day trial was filled to the top with rich people fuckery from Terry’s neurosurgeon testifying that he could no longer enjoy wine tastings after the accident to Gwyneth’s daughter Apple Martin stating in a deposition that her mom was so shaken up after the crash that she had to get a massage at the spa, which I guess is the rich people’s version of Urgent Care. Terry claimed that while skiing at the St. Regis Deer Park Resort in Park City on February 26, 2016, Gwyneth crashed into him and then skied away without even checking to see if he was okay. But Gwyneth claimed that Terry crashed into her. And both believed they were the downhill skier (the downhill skier gets the right-of-way).

Terry testified that he suffered a “permanent traumatic brain injury” because of the crash and that his quality of life took a major hit. But a neuroradiologist, who testified for Team Goop and looked at Terry’s MRI scans taken before and after the crash, said that Terry showed signs of “white matter disease” in years before the crash. The neuroradiologist added that the accident didn’t worsen the disease or cause new damage to Terry’s brain. And yesterday, Gwyneth’s lawyers brought Terry back to the stand for a second time and called out his claim that his life has been shit ever since the accident. They showed post-crash pictures from Terry’s Facebook of him riding camels in Morocco, hiking up Machu Picchu in Peru, doing Zumba, zip lining, and bike riding. Gwyneth’s lawyers also pointed out that since the crash, Terry’s gone on trips all over the world.

People reports that it took the jury three hours to deliberate. When the verdict was read, Gwyneth’s face barely moved, and I’m guessing she was concentrating hard on not letting her jade coochie egg pop out from the excitement of knowing she won. At around the 6:03 mark in the video below, Gwyneth gets up and whispers something to Terry before leaving the courtroom. Gwyneth’s lawyer tells TMZ that she whispered, “I wish you well.” Are we sure she didn’t really whisper, “I wish you to hell!”

After the verdict, Goopy gave this statement to People:

“I felt that acquiescing to a false claim compromised my integrity. I am pleased with the outcome and I appreciate all of the hard work of Judge Holmberg and the jury, and thank them for their thoughtfulness in handling this case.”

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to file a lawsuit against Terry Sanderson for making me suffer the humiliation of siding with Goopy Paltrow for once!

Pic: YouTube

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