Category: This Remake Doesn’t Need To Happen
Fox Is In Talks To Bring Back “24” And Would Also Love To Do A Revival Of “Glee”
You’ll never guess what Hollywood is up to! Oh, honey, you wanted a twist? Well, you’re never going to get one. The people at Fox are in “active creative discussions” to bring back 24, which starred Kiefer Sutherland. 24 has already been brought back twice: as a limited series and a remake that starred Corey Hawkins. But now Fox is thinking about how to bring Kiefer back into the world of highly-time-sensitive anxiety-inducing terrorist drama. They’re also thinking about bringing other Fox hits back like Glee! Wow, and my skin just finished growing back after crawling off from the first version of that show.
“Another Round” Is Being Remade In English, And It Might Star Leonardo DiCaprio
Because some people have no interest in overcoming subtitles and you can almost always count on English dubbing to end up looking a mess, Hollywood continues to remake successful non-English movies with English-speaking actors, to varying degrees of moderate success or abject failure. So no one should be that surprised that Hollywood bought the remake rights to the very successful and Oscar-winning Danish comedy-drama Another Round. But the shock here should be reserved for the fact that they’re not letting Mads Mikkelsen come back and do it all over again, but that it sounds like Leonardo DiCaprio will take his place.
A “Face/Off” Sequel Is In The Works
lt’s been nearly 24 years since Nicolas Cage and John Travolta starred in the movie that cemented their legacies in the WTF Did I Just Watch Hall of Fame. And while nobody asked for Hollywood to attempt to improve upon perfection (I said what I said and I stand by it), Hollywood is still going to go ahead and give us a sequel to Face/Off in the near future.
Zach Braff And Gabrielle Union Will Star In A Remake Of “Cheaper By The Dozen” For Disney Plus
For a company that prides itself on “Imagineering,” whatever the fuck that means, Disney sure seems to lack good old-fashioned imagination. According to Deadline, Disney+ is working on a “reimagining” of Cheaper by the Dozen, that old Steve Martin movie, which was already a remake of the 1950 film of the same name, which was an adaptation of a 1948 book of the same name. There’s a reason “reimagining” isn’t a real word, just saying. And they are really straining the bounds of credulity by casting Zach Braff and Gabrielle Union as the mom and pop of a “multiracial, blended family.” Look, I’ll buy a 1’ tall genocidal 50-year-old infant that can move shit with its mind, but Zach Braff pulling Gabrielle Union and putting a gang of babies up in her? Sirs/ma’ams, you have lost your minds.
America Is Getting Its Own Version Of Eurovision
In case you didn’t know, people in Europe have STRONG feelings about Eurovision. And people in the US have STRONG feelings about everything but Eurovision, so it’s a bit of a surprise to learn that an American version of the iconic annual song contest is in the works (but not too surprising because, after all, if there weren’t a minimum of 50 talent-based reality shows on the air, what else would moms watch?)
Past winners of Eurovision have included ABBA, Celine Dion, and Conchita Wurst. But I’m sure they’ll have nothing on Florida’s entry, which will probably just be a bunch of people whining about why they have to wear a mask while sitting on alligators.
The Disney Channel Is Remaking “Hocus Pocus”
You would think that remaking what is arguably (to me at least) the best movie about witchcraft would be the sort of thing that would surely curse a person for life. But apparently someone at the Disney Channel isn’t afraid of a spooky black cat slipping into their office and spiking their latte with a little eye of newt. Deadline says that the Disney Channel has decided to remake the 1993 Halloween classic Hocus Pocus as a TV movie.