BREAKING: Madge Keeps Her Crotch Covered And M.I.A. Tells Us To Eff Off

February 5, 2012 / Posted by:

Maybe it’s because I’m on my way to becoming MVP of 2012’s Super Smoke A Bowl, but that whole Super Bowl halftime show was an overstuffed ball of WTF wrapped in a sequined straitjacket made of pure CRAZY. That was like the dream sequence from The Big Lebowski crashing into She-Ra before getting hit head on with a glitter queef out of Elton John’s ass. Madge LIP-SYNCHED FOR HER LIFE (and I think she fucked it up), LMFAO are like outcast Fraggles on low grade meth and Cee-Lo looked like a fat T-Rex dressed like a gay priest. Just every layer and shade of WTF. What I’m saying is, I think I liked it for that very reason.

Baby Brahim better be filling a tub made of children’s skulls with BenGay, because Madge is going to need to SOAK her sore bones tonight after nearly falling on her ass. Madge twerked so hard that I’m sure she cracked two hips and pulled all her muscles. It’s okay, I’m sure they’re healing her with the saliva of Satan and fresh fetus veins. She’ll be humping her mamaw crotch on Baby Brahim by midnight Indiana time.

Madge must have been slathered in a fresh coat of melted doll skin before she was carried out on the field, because she looked exactly like a retired Team America puppet. Bitch kind of danced like one too. And you should remember this show, because in about 20 years Lady CaCa will be doing a low-budget version when she performs at the halftime show for Queensborough Community College’s touch football championship.

And in cased you missed it, here’s M.I.A.’s STUNT EMPRESS (this is way beyond a Stunt Queen) move. Oh, M.I.A., you so edgeeee.

I love a middle finger, but I’d rather see Janet Jackson’s nipple again.

via TDW & Buzzfeed

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