Category: Please Report To The Devil’s Office

Tiffany Haddish Responds After Being Accused Of Bullying And Spreading COVID-19 Conspiracy Theories

January 16, 2021 / Posted by:

On Wednesday night, Tiffany Haddish, Instagram activist Chakabars, rapper turned podcast Joe Budden, and Jason Lee (not the My Name Is Earl One, but radio host Jason Lee) all decided to put on their tinfoil hats before going into the invite-only audio app Clubhouse to spew conspiracy theories on how the government created COVID-19 to get us to social distance so that satellites could perform facial recognition on us. How satellites are going to do that with a damn mask covering half of our mug is beyond me, but still, Tiffany Haddish may be your drunk, crazy auntie who “read it on Facebook, honey.”

But AceShowbiz says that things really took a toxic turn when doctors in the chatroom called out the tinfoil hat version of Tiffany & Co. for spreading dangerous and false information, and they really turned on one of the doctors and vowed to destroy her. Apparently, Tiffany, Chakabars, Joe, and Jason doxxed the doctor and things got so bad for her that she tried to take her own life. And Tiffany’s response to that is a master class on How Not To Fucking Respond.

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Prosecutors Spit At Ghislaine Maxwell’s Proposed $28.5 Million Bail Package, Saying She’s Got It Cushy Enough In Prison

December 19, 2020 / Posted by:

Ghislaine Maxwell, the heart-deficient monster partner of Jeffrey Epstein, is still in jail in Brooklyn, waiting to go to trial for several federal charges including enticement of minors, sex trafficking, and perjury for “allegedly” grooming, abusing, and sex trafficking underage girls in Epstein’s Satan-approved sex ring for the elite. Ghislaine pleaded not guilty to all charges and the trial is scheduled to start July 2021. But ever since she was found hiding out in a home in New Hampshire and was arrested and charged this past summer, she’s been trying to get out of jail on bail, because, I guess, Ghislaine is the kind of demon whose skin burns from jail cell fluorescent lighting and paper clothes.

A few months ago,¬†U.S. District Judge Alison Nathan¬†denied Ghislaine’s first proposed $5 million bail package, so she’s upped it and is now proposing a $28.5 million bail package. But prosecutors are once again asking Judge Nathan to shit on that too because Ghislaine’s already the 1% of the U.S. jail system since she’s got it better than most inmates.

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FKA Twigs Speaks Out On Twitter After Filing A Lawsuit Against Shia LaBeouf For Domestic Abuse

December 12, 2020 / Posted by:

Everyone who has followed the violent ways of Shia LaBeouf, sadly, wasn’t that surprised by the horrible accusations of his ex-girlfriend FKA Twigs who filed a lawsuit against him, claiming that throughout their relationship, which lasted less than a year, he physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually abused her. “Show me cute puppeh videos NOW” must have been the most popular search on YouTube yesterday because FKA Twigs went into the fucked-up details of what she said Shia did to her. After news of the lawsuit came out, she said on Twitter that sharing her story with everyone was a nightmare to her, but she did it in hopes that she can help other victims of abuse.

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The 465-Page Ghislaine Maxwell Deposition Is Out

October 22, 2020 / Posted by:

Just a couple of days after a judge finally spit at Ghislaine Maxwell’s repeated moves to keep a 2016 testimony of hers from public eyes, it has been released, which means that several journalists have propped their eyelids up with toothpicks to not miss a thing as they go over every smegma-wrapped lie that leaped off of her demon tongue. So far, it seems like Ghislaine dodged questions as though the questions were an of-age woman and she was Jeffrey Epstein. It also looks like the hardest working trick, besides the geyser hole of lies that Ghislaine calls a mouth, is the black bar. The names of several of Epstein’s powerful friends are blacked out. The devil works hard, but the lawyers of the elite work harder to keep their clients’ names out of Ghislaine’s mouth, on paper anyway.

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R. Kelly Got Attacked By Another Inmate In Prison (UPDATE)

August 27, 2020 / Posted by:

And in some shocking news, this is the first time that R. Kelly has been served a prison beatdown, that we know of. And no, he didn’t even get that fucked up.

R. Kelly is currently living at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Chicago while waiting to face several child sex abuse charges (not to be confused with the charges he’s also facing in Minnesota and New York), and TMZ says that today, one inmate decided to beat the piss out of him. And no, the inmate didn’t punch R. Kelly up because he’s an alleged child rapist. The inmate beat R. Kelly’s ass because the prison had to go into a lockdown a couple of times over pro-R. Kelly protests happening outside of the prison. Yes, we’re living in a world and a time when there’s a group of people who actually think that a good way to spend their time is to protest for the release of fucking R. Kelly.

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So Ghislaine Maxwell Lied About Not Having Any Contact With Jeffrey Epstein For Over A Decade

July 31, 2020 / Posted by:

Last night, dozens of documents in Virginia Roberts Giuffre’s 2015 defamation case against Ghislaine Maxwell were unsealed and dumped as expected. This document dump (I hate myself for typing that) is different than the one that may happen on Monday if Ghislaine’s lawyers fail to successfully appeal the judge’s decision to unseal those documents. This latest unsealing of documents shows that Ghislaine emailed with Jeffrey Epstein as recent as 2015 and that she allegedly sexually abused dozens of girls. In the documents, Virginia also named the names of those she was trafficked to including Prince Andrew, of course, and Alan Dershowitz. Why do I have a feeling that the wikiHow page on “how to safely remove your eyeballs and cleanse them in bleach” is about to get many, many, many hits?

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