A Plastic Surgery-Addicted Influencer’s 38J Breast Implant Popped
BREAKING NEWS: The Daily Mail reports that one of Mary Magdalene’s 38J 11-pound titties has exploded, rendering her uniboobed. I know what you’re thinking: “Not Mary Magdalene the saint?!” No, not Mary Magdalene the saint. She’s dead and peaked at a 34B (the Bible tells me so). I’m talking about Mary Magdalene the 30-year-old Canadian influencer who’s become famous in pervert circles for her plastic surgery addiction.
Over the years, Mary has spent more than $100,000 on multiple surgeries and almost died on the operating table several times. Her heavy butt and boob implants cause so much back pain that she often uses a wheelchair to get around. A few days ago, Mary took to Instagram to share some more bad news about her breasts: one of them had popped! Now, she’s left with one deflated titty and one balloon titty. Mary admits this isn’t the first time she’s dealt with a burst implant, and revealed she wants to get surgery next week “to take them both out”. Mary wants to “go back natural” in other parts of her body as well (she may be referring to that Larsa Pippen ass and her altered vagina, which she refers to as “the world’s fattest”). Here’s Mary’s “my implant popped” announcement:
In the comments, the influencer’s concerned followers speculated that the explosion may have occurred after Mary overfilled her 5000cc implant using an expander (a feature that lets the patient inject themselves with saline). During an Instagram Live, Mary revealed it didn’t hurt when the implant burst, and she only realized it was happening when she heard a popping sound. Then, yesterday, Mary posted the header pic to Instagram with the caption, “Embracing my uniboob”. In another Story, she wrote that she was considering keeping her solo shoulder boulder cuz it “would actually look hot” if it were centered. Agree to disagree? Later, she backtracked and wrote that she would be getting surgery to remove both implants in Europe.
You may also remember Mary Magdalene from last summer, when we posted about how she got kicked off an American Airlines flight. Mary took to her Instagram Stories to blame the boot on the flight attendant being a big-titty discriminator:
Onviously [obviously] this is why whe [they] kick me off cuz I loom [look] too ecplicot [explicit] bit [but] thats not legal so she had to say its because i was sleeping snd [and] vouldnt [wouldn’t] hear her girl bye all her dtaff [staff] os [is] on my side ur geettinv [getting] sued ehore [whore]!!!!
American Airlines refuted Mary’s claims. They told TMZ that, actually, they booted Mary cuz she appeared unstable and intoxicated (not exactly a leap based on her social media spelling and grammar). She never ended up suing. Now, if Mary does end up getting her implants taken out in Europe this week, she should get stinking drunk before the flight home to see if she gets kicked off the plane again. It’s the ultimate social experiment!