Category: Awards

Open Post: Hosted By The World’s Largest Pizza

January 22, 2023 / Posted by:

When it comes to eating pizza with a hungry family, the larger, the better; otherwise, you end up getting two thin slices that are missing 75% of the cheese. But if a 14” isn’t big enough for your ravenous appetite, then I present to you Pizza Hut’s largest pizza, clocking in at 13,990 square feet. That’s enough to last like three dinners!

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Cardi B Is Billboard’s Woman Of The Year

November 18, 2020 / Posted by:

The year is 2020. Kamala Harris is the first female American VP. Dolly Parton is on her way to curing coronavirus. Ruth Bader Ginsburg became a Supreme Court justice in heaven. But all those ladies can suck a WAP, because Billboard has named Cardi B THE Woman of the Year. The honour will be bestowed upon her at their Women in Music ceremony on December 10th. Past winners include Billie Eilish, Selena Gomez, Ariana Grande, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Beyoncé. So yeah, it’s a “who sold the most albums that year” popularity contest.

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The Daytime Emmy Awards Were Handed Out (Virtually) Last Night

June 27, 2020 / Posted by:

 

And yes, Alex Trebek (seen above at last year’s ceremony) won another Daytime Emmy even though his show airs in the evening. That’s the POWER of Alex Trebek!

Last night, the Daytime Emmys (the ugly step-sister of the more glamourous Primetime Emmys) were handed out, virtually––and for yet another year, a whole lot of NOTHING passing as riveting television won big. I can’t relate to anything on-air in the mornings because I’m usually either still passed out, or nursing an edibles-and-wine hangover while barely holding it together in a Zoom call. But after reading this list of winners, it’s clear that I’m not missing out on anything.

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Roman Polanski Won At The Cesar Awards––And People Were Pissed

February 29, 2020 / Posted by:

Roman Polanski won the Best Director trophy at last night’s Cesar Awards for his movie “Roman: My Life as a Creepy Piece of Shit” “J’Accuse” despite the entire board having quit following his nomination, not to mention those multiple new allegations of sexual misconduct. Yep, the French Film Academy ignored ALL of that and still thought it a good idea to give it to him.

J’Accuse? More like: quelle fucking surprise.

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A Bunch Of Non-Oscar Nominated Movies Won Big At The Independent Spirit Awards

February 9, 2020 / Posted by:

Despite not being nominated for anything at the Oscars, The Farewell took home Best Picture at last night’s Film Independent Spirit Awards, a ceremony held in Santa Monica, CA and is known for giving few fucks when it comes to the speeches, the red carpet, the outfits and…the Oscars. If award shows were a family getting together at Thanksgiving, the Spirit Awards would be the cool, arty cousin who smokes unfiltered Parliaments in the driveway while everybody else is inside drinking champagne and talking about Steven Spielberg.

At the very least, it was nice to sit through a televised evening of self-congratulation without having to see Brad Pitt’s shiny forehead or Quentin Tarantino being…Quentin Tarantino.

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The 2020 Razzie Nominations Are Out––And “Cats” Was Not Snubbed

February 9, 2020 / Posted by:

The nominations for the 2020 Golden Raspberry Awards have been announced, meaning that this year’s batch of unwatchable films and performances have been scooped and sifted from the litterbox and thrust back into the spotlight for one final evening before hopefully being flushed away forever.

To literally no one’s surprise, Cats led the nominations list, tying Rambo: Last Blood and A Madea Family Funeral, with eight disgraceful nods––guess those improved visual effects failed to disguise the fact that at the end of the day people were actually expected to pay money and enjoy watching a movie featuring an anaconda-less Jason Derulo, Taylor Swift (who didn’t even wear ONE beautiful gown) and a totally normal James Corden, in terrifying––and terrifyingly shitty––cat costumes.

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