Yes, two. Just like the number of nipples I had to cover up with Drake’s giddy face in the picture above.

For those of you who usually need something a little stronger than coffee-flavored booze to get through a Monday, Rihanna has been kind enough to gift us with two videos for “Work“, the first single off Anti. I have no idea why RiRi decided to make two music videos for “Work“. Maybe RiRi got so high on space weed she forgot that she had already filmed a video for “Work“. Or maybe this is one of the “production delays” that caused RiRi’s tour from starting on time. Sorry everyone, but RiRi is too busy grinding her ass against Drake’s dick area to go on tour right now.

Regardless of the why, here’s the what. The first video features Princess Ooh Na Na and Wheelchair Jimmy making you wish it was still Saturday by horny dancing at a Caribbean restaurant. Well, “horny” might not be the right word for both of them. Obviously RiRi is horny as hell, but Drake looks like he’s about three seconds away from whispering “Can we cuddle for a bit first?”

Then at the 3:45 mark, we have the second video for “Work“, which features RiRi in a see-through shirt popping her perpetual-motion pussy for Drake in what appears to be an unused room from the “Say My Name” set. Just a heads-up – it’s little NSFW, thanks to an appearance by RiRi’s partially-covered nipples in the second half.

I like that Drake was able to reuse some of his middle-aged dad dance moves from the “Hotline Bling” video. What I didn’t like is that he supplemented the rest of the second video with some lazy middle-aged dad sitting on the couch watching golf moves.

In other Rihanna news, UsWeekly says that RiRi was well enough to celebrated her birthday at a club this weekend. That’s right, RiRi has recovered from the bronchitis that made her cancel her Grammy performance. It’s a miracle!

Even though boxer Manny Pacquiao shat up a non-apology for saying that gays are “worse than animals,” he continued to double down on his comments by Instagramming Bible scriptures that say gay dudes getting caught doing gay sex should be murdered. While some of us patiently wait to hear the news that Manny P was caught tap-dancing in a men’s public bathroom somewhere, Loki’s human and champion boxer (Um, don’t give me that look, even if he used his wallet to win it, he still won it!)  Mickey Rourke gave his thoughts about that shit. TMZ caught the Panty Creamer Hall of Famer outside of The Nice Guy in West Hollywood on Friday night and asked him about Manny P’s words. Mickey shat on Manny P’s comments and pretty much quoted notable philosopher Honey Boo Boo when he said he’s a little gay himself. (Cut to Little Gay from The Soup poking out of Mickey’s gorgeous wig while waving.)

Here’s what Mickey said about Manny’s comments while dressed like an extra fancy gay hair dresser from Wild Wild West times:

“I think they were wrong and out of place and I think that we all got to watch what we say. You know, that was from the Old Testament, he was quoting, so you got to give him a little bit of room. But I got a lot of gay friends. I’m a little bit gay myself.”

And to show he’s a “little gay,” Mickey kissed on another dude in front of the paps.

Manny P is probably not going to respond to Mickey, but I’d like to see him try to snatch the wig cemented onto the hot piece of salmon jerky’s head. It’s impossible. Mickey came prepared by using Gorilla Glue, Super Glue, Krazy Glue, Elmer’s Glue, four different rubber cement brands and chameleon saliva to keep his hot wig from leaving his head.

A high-powered winch, a crane clamp and a hungry eagle couldn’t yank off that wig. Mickey stays winning!

And here’s more of Mickey working that “butch Cinderella’s stepmother” lace front outside of  The Nice Guy and at the premiere of Triple 9 with Norman Reedus.

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

It’s been seven months since 50 Cent tried to weasel his way out of cutting a $7 million check for that sex tape lawsuit by declaring that his bank account is about as empty as the space between his butt cheeks after Vivica Fox packed up her tongue and split. And ever since then, he’s been using his Instagram account to prove just how “bankrupt” he is. Which is to say, not fucking very.

50 tackiness knows no bounds: he’s Instagrammed pictures of a mini-fridge filled with money, garbage cans full of cash, and, as you can see above, spelling out the word “broke” in $100 bills (never has Benjamin Franklin’s “I can’t with you” face been more appropriate). Well, it looks like 50’s days of money selfies might finally be over. According to CNN Money (via NYDN), a judge has started side-eyeing all that Instagram bragging and wants 50 to start explaining where his broke ass is getting all that money from.

During a hearing in Connecticut last Thursday, Judge Ann Nevins said 50’s pictures showed a “lack of transparency” and was concerned that they might cause allegations of nondisclosure. She added that the process of bankruptcy needs to be transparent to inspire confidence in the process of declaring you’re broke, especially when the process becomes public (i.e. taking your lies to Instagram). Basically, Judge Ann pulled an “I got your number, hussy” on 50 Cent.

Not surprisingly, if you ask 2 Quarters’ lawyers about his financial situation, they maintain that he’s totally not lying about his busted bank balance. As of January, 50 reportedly owes almost $28.5 million to his creditors. Ugh, I’m so torn. On the one hand, my brain is telling me that 50 Cent is probably lying about being broke. On the other hand, my eyes are looking at that cheap flea market floor runner and thinking he might be telling the truth.

Pic: Instagram

On Friday, the artiste formerly known as Ke$ha lost the latest round in her fight to get out of her contract with Sony. Kesha is suing her ex-producer Dr. Luke for allegedly drugging and raping her repeatedly, and she wants out of her contract with Sony so she can put out new music far, far away from him. The judge refused to put her contract with Sony in the shredder. Many pop types like Lady Gaga, Kelly Clarkson, Ariana Grande Latte, Lorde, Lily Allen and Halsey let it be known on Twitter that they’re in Kesha’s corner. Many were waiting for Taylor Swift to say something since she’s the princess of women and the feminist hero we don’t deserve. On Sunday at 2:30 in the morning, Demi Lovato tweeted out a long stream of support for Kesha on Twitter and during her it, she threw a not-so-subtle, “Bitch, where are you?“, at Tay Tay.

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He looks like…A BABY! Can you even believe it? I can’t.

In the grand Kardashian family tradition of sleepy-faced selfies, Kim Kardashian threw up the first real picture of her three-month-old baby Saint West on her website early this morning. Kim chose today to show us what Saint West’s face looks like because it would have been her dad’s 72nd birthday and that “there’s nothing more in the world he would have wanted than to meet his grandchildren.” Which is a little surprising. I always assumed the reason we hadn’t seen Saint yet was because Kim was holding out for a cover of VOGUE or Son of God Weekly. You know, only the best for Kanye West’s kid.

But back to Saint. I know babies sleep a lot, but I like to pretend that Baby Saint has his eyes closed on purpose. It was probably the first time he’s seen Kim since his birth, and he realized it would be better to pretend to be asleep than to make small talk with the rubber-faced stranger and her kamera krew.

Of course, Kim also made sure to give some internet attention to her two other children this weekend by throwing up a picture of Kanye and North West taking a nap at a baby store yesterday to Instagram.

I’ll be honest, if I had to listen to Kim’s white noise vacuum cleaner voice, I’d be fast asleep too. Here’s more of Kim, North, and the No.1 threat to Kris Jenner’s decades-long investment shopping for baby shit with Chrissy Teigen and John Legend yesterday.

Pics: KimKardashianWest.com, Instagram, Wenn.com

Satan really outdid himself with his Halloween costume this year. – Topanga

Upvote winner:

That’s the first time I ever saw a dick circumcise itself. – Shane Yorston

GIF: Jezebel via Funny Or Die