Category: Take Your Broke Ass Home
Kanye West’s 2024 Presidential Campaign Received $0.00 In Donations Last Year But Paid $142,000 In Expenses
In the immortal words of 2020 Presidential Candidate Christian Genius Billionaire Kanye West, as tweeted on the day of his defeat: Welp. Despite the spectacular reversal of fortune Kanye brought upon himself last year, The Little Rapper That Couldn’t is still trying to climb up to that shining city on the hill to take his seat at the table as the leader of the free world, so that he may deliver to us, as a nation, nude pictures of his ex-wife. However, according to logic and The Daily Beast, his prospects for a successful 2024 campaign are beyond grim. And please know that when I say “successful,” the bar is very low. Kanye’s campaign received not one, single, solitary cent. No need to have him show us his empty pockets. There’s nothing there; not a dollar, not a dime, not a penny. Kanye’s pants are officially penisless. Not a typo.
American Express Is Suing Armie Hammer For An Unpaid Credit Card Balance
If anyone had been researching “timeshare salesperson” as a lucrative career, it might be time to check that option off of the list–because even though Armie Hammer was working as one in the Cayman Islands for a bit earlier this year after his acting career shit an apartment building full of beds due to his sexual abuse and cannibalism fetish allegations–hawking Cayman condos wasn’t paying his bills (though it was probably more profitable than Death on the Nile at the box office). Now, financial matters are looking even more bleak for Armie, because American Express says that he’s been dodging a $67,000 credit card balance, and they’re taking him to court over it.
Blac Chyna Is Getting Sued For $50k For Unpaid Rent Money
Blac Chyna needs to change her name to Broke Chyna because not only has she lost her kash-kow payments from Rob Kardashian (or Rob’s mom, I should say) and now has to fully sustain her lifestyle and income on FlatTummy Tea and skin bleach, she is now getting sued for not paying rent.
Kris Jenner Will Sue You Even If You’re Broke
Pimp Mama Kris finds a way to monetize everything, even her search for a new assistant. She’s doing press for her partnership with Bumble Bizz, which is a “networking” offshoot of the dating app, but I just think it’s another way to find someone to bone.
Kris talked to HuffPo about finding a new minion, and somehow in the puff piece about that, we found out something we already knew: Satan’s proudest creation isn’t afraid to drag your broke soul to court if you do something she doesn’t like. Continue reading
Tidal Might Be Mere Months Away From Going Broke
Even though Jay-Z thought his $19.99/month version of Spotify would be the go-to platform for music and sound snobs everywhere, most people viewed it as a pain in the ass that drove people to re-download Kazaa in order to get a new Beyoncé album, since it kept all the good shit to itself. That mindset has apparently driven it to the poor house, since Tidal is allegedly months away from going bust. Continue reading
Tori Spelling And Dean McDermott Are Being Sued By Their Bank Over An Unpaid Loan
Poor Snoopy. I’m sure Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott asked him for a loan and he was forced to think of an excuse. “Um, well, I sorta just sunk a whole bunch of money into Charlie Brown’s new hair transplant business, so…”